Reviews (Creepypasta)

Wash Away My Colors

Story: Wash Away My Colors [Jeff the Killer Story]

By: My_smile_went_insane

Story Rating: 8

Grammar Rating: B+

Originality: 4.5

First off, let me commend you for your title. It's nice to see an original idea! But you need a better description for your story. It's not enough to draw someone in.

Please get rid of the extra spacing between paragraphs. It's not needed. There's too much blank space and it does odd things to the reader.

The murders in the second and third chapter are cool but there's no story or hints to what's really going on. Maybe a mystery is what you're going for but you can't put the reader in one scenario and then throw them into a completely different one in the next. Consistency. Explain what's going on because the reader doesn't know what's going on in your head.

I thought it was really interesting for Jeff to have sex with his dead victim. It's something I've never seen but could believe happening.

However, you messed up after that. You can't have him raping a dead girl one paragraph and then having a mental breakdown the next while seemingly running around and destroying the forest. For all I know he's running around with his pants still down and possibly still hard. You NEED to connect the events. Let the reader know Jeff stops having sex, redresses and then starts having his meltdown.

I really liked your way of telling the story. It's really poetic and I was enthralled by it.

I also really liked the ending. Very good.

However, I did wish you could explain things a bit better. It got confusing at little moments but it was nothing that would stop you from understanding the meaning and message of the story.