Extraordinary Love

Chapter 18

Song: What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner

Aaliyah

After Chris explained his first installment to me, I just took his hands in mine and laid my head on his chest. We sat for a good while; me just listening to his heartbeat; feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest; how his breath hitched every once in a while. We didn't speak any more about it and we didn't have to. We had an understanding and it felt good just to know that we both had someone to talk to and someone who trusted us enough to share.

I could tell that a lot more was to come; things much, much deeper. I knew Chris wasn't that shook to the core because Robyn just lost interest in him. I wanted to know what troubled him. I also wanted to tell him about myself, and my life, but still I couldn't find the words to say. Chris taking that extra step to let me in had inspired me though. When I went home that night, I just started writing. I wrote all of my thoughts and feelings and every little thing running through my head. It felt good, like a therapy session with myself. I had never kept a journal before, even throughout the two biggest events of my life. I had come close though. I was both nervous and excited to share these parts of me with him. I had never talked about this stuff with anyone before. The closest I had gotten was venting in the middle of the night out loud while Raven was asleep. Sometimes I pretended like I was talking to my mom and soon it became a routine, basically talking to myself. But the more I wrote, the more I felt like I could actually talk to someone for real, and tell Christopher about my past.

My most current entry had been about my trepidations for tonight. I had gone into work the next day after the night at the club and apologized profusely to Derek. I told him that Chris and "Rihanna" had some "history" and thankfully Derek said that was all he needed to know. I figured he took it as just as a hook up gone wrong and understood. We rescheduled in a more private setting: a double date over dinner, at his place. We would eat Thai with Chris and Sequoia and then talk business.

It sounded simple enough but there were still butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous, but not because I didn't think that Derek and Sequoia wouldn't be as charmed by Christopher as I was. I just hoped Derek would see what I saw in Chris.

If Chris was nervous, he sure didn't show it. The shaken Christopher from the club was nowhere to be found. Chris smiled and talked with ease as if he had known the couple in front of him his whole life. I was the one who couldn't go fifteen seconds without repositioning and reclasping my hands.

He took my hand in his, rubbing the back reassuringly with his thumb. I had been around Derek and Sequoia countless times before but I felt like I was just meeting them too.

"So how long have you been together?" Sequoia asked as we finished up eating.

"Um, about three weeks, maybe?" I looked at Chris.

"We met a few months ago though. I think like maybe seven or so?" Chris looked to me for confirmation. "

I nodded.

"Wow, you just seem like you've been together for a while. You seem so totally comfortable with each other."

"Derek and Sequoia have been together since high school," I told Chris.

"Really? How long have you been married?"

Sequoia smiled but I noticed a look in her eyes. "We actually are not legally married but Derek is still my partner in every sense."

Derek cleared his throat, changing the subject. "Why don't we get straight to business? Chris?"

The men stood up from the table, excusing themselves. As I watched Chris follow Derek down the hall I immediately felt my anxiety increase.

Sequoia started to pick up the plates from the table and to busy me, I helped her.

"So, I heard Raven and Trey got engaged! That's so exciting. I'm glad too. He's a great guy."

"Yeah, they seem really in love."

"They're not the only ones," she nudged my shoulder, "Have you guys said it yet?"

"That we love each other? Oh no, we haven't even been together that long. We just made it official."

"Time doesn't matter. You can be with the wrong person for years or the right one for just a few months. If it's right, it's right. And anyone can see the connection between you two. I've known you for a few years now Aaliyah and I've never even seen you look a man's way, let alone the way you look at him. And you can see it in his eyes. That boy loves you."

"How... How did you know that Derek was the one? That you were truly in love like that? I had convinced myself that I didn't need anyone. I couldn't even imagine settling down with someone, and getting married and having a family... Spending the rest of my life with someone who understood me and loved me for me... Chris has changed my outlook on love."

She set down the plate she was holding onto the drying rack and wiped her hands on a dish towel.

"You know, I see us in the two of you very much. We met in high school, seventeen-eighteen years old. He was so charming and had a big heart. Extremely ambitious; he just knew that the both of us were going to make it. We used to live in his parents' basement. I was a waitress who modeled for local photographers. Derek DJ'd wherever he could: parties, bars, clubs. Eventually, it paid off. We made it.

But it took a toll. When we were living in the basement, doing whatever we could to make ends meet, we were closer. With the recognition and nice cars and a big house," she gestured around her, "came more space, literally. We used to talk all the time about getting married. We talked about getting married. We talked about just eloping at the courthouse or saving up to have a big wedding in the future. Now whenever the topic comes up, he just shuts it down. He asks, 'What's the point? We're practically married already. It's just a piece of paper.' And I know it's just a piece of paper but marriage is important to me. It's a big step. If he won't even get a piece of paper, how am I going to expect him to start a family? He works constantly, he's never home. He promised me the world and gave me the world but all I ever wanted was him," she sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if it'd be better to just go our separate ways. I'm sorry for loading all of this on to you."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "No, no, no, it's completely fine, Sequoia. We all need someone to load on sometimes. Even me. You guys definitely need to talk it out though. I know I'm young and the two of you have a lot more experience when it comes to relationships but I think it's important that you're both on the same page, especially when it comes to deal breakers. I'm sure if Derek knew how strongly you feel about marriage, he'd feel differently too."

She nodded and squeezed my hands. "Thank you, Aaliyah, for listening."

"Anytime," I assured her.

The boys came back into the room, big smiles on their faces as they talked enthusiastically.

"Yeah, man but I'll definitely give you a call when I hear back, aight? You about to be huge man."

"Aye, thanks, I really appreciate that man. Thank you."

It was obvious that they had bonded in the time that they had spent together and I was glad. Chris was talking so excitedly about Derek and their conversation. Derek had some managing contacts that he was going to get in touch with and he really liked Chris' voice. I couldn't help but keep thinking about what Sequoia said, that Chris loved me. But sitting here in the passenger seat of his car, feeling the way I felt seeing how happy he was, I thought that she might be right. I think I love him. And if I did, there was something he needed to know.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked as we stepped into his house. My voice echoed in the hall.

He nodded and didn't ask about what. I guess he could hear something in my voice. We ended up in the living room, sitting on the rug instead of the couch. It was starting to become our thing.

I pulled out the journal from out of my purse. It was always by my side now, no matter where I went. I pulled a few papers out of it.

"What's that?"

I gathered up my courage before I got too scared and put it into his hand.

I was diving into the deep end.