yellow roses [book 1 - mysmes hanahaki trilogy]

3

The next day, MC woke up with the worst hangover imaginable. He stayed home from school, again, and went for a long walk around the block, depositing rose petals on every street. Strangely, MC wasn't worried, or scared, or concerned. It would pass, and if it didn't he would see a doctor. Simple, simple, simple... MC didn't like to worry, he was stressed enough already. A few flower petals weren't going to upset him too much. 

It was 2 weeks later that Saeran invited MC over again. MC, who was still, in fact, upset about the whole Yoosung thing, refused.

MC: Go fuck yourself 

Saeran didn't reply after that, knowing that MC would get out of his funk soon, and that they'd be able to hang out again, like usual. 

By that night, Saeran was right. MC was coughing up petals and, feeling insanely guilty, texted Saeran an apology, his pride falling out of tact like puzzle pieces.

...

A week later, MC was over at Saeran's again. Saeran handed MC a beer, pressing the cold, unopened can to his forehead as they sat on the couch, air conditioners chugging to keep the hot, late-May drawl out of the house. 

Saeran was shirtless, and MC stole glances at his muscled torso, pale and damp with sweat. 

"MC?" Saeran asked suddenly, eyes flicking to his best friend. 

"Hm?" The younger boy was chugging his beer. 

"I'm dating Yoosung." He said it so calmly, evenly, so level that MC wanted to punch him in the face. Instead, he forcefully swallowed the beer in his mouth and started choking.

"Oh fuck, not now," MC pleaded, and took another swig of beer to keep the flower petals down. 

"Dating?" He wheezed, recovering. 

"Yeah." Saeran looked sheepish.

"Oh." MC's heart felt as if it had been torn from his chest, thrown to the ground, and stepped on. "Oh," he said again, not having anything else to say. His chest hurt. 

"So I think we should stop hooking up. I don't want Yoosung to get upset."

Of course, Yoosung- "Okay." Mc's voice was small, and his fingers clenched the hem of his shirt. 

"Well are you gonna say anything else?" Saeran seemed upset.

Why was he upset? MC's eyes hardened. Who gave him the right to be upset right now? He wasn't the one left heartbroken, helpless. 

"What else am I supposed to say?" MC said breezily, not looking at Saeran.

"Fucking- Just leave, MC, if you're that upset about it. Shit, I thought you'd be happy for me."

MC felt tears bubble to his closed eyelids, and then he was rushing to the bathroom, puking beer and flower petals into Saeran's toilet, tears rushing down his face now as he gasped for breath, then stomach and lungs lurching as he coughed up more petals, arms shaking as he kneeled, and Saeran was behind him, laughing nervously, cursing, not seeing the flowers in the bowl, telling MC how he was just like Yoosung, who apparently couldn't even hold one beer. 

MC didn't want to hear about Yoosung. As far as he was concerned, Yoosung could go rot. But of course he didn't mean that, because boys like him didn't tell their best friends that they thought their boyfriends could go to hell, or that they were simply jealous. No, boys like him were cowards who clung to the thought of someone loving them back, and not just any someone, but the someone who was taken and that knew them the best. If only he wasn't so slow to realize that Saeran was falling for someone else...

Who were they kidding? Having sex every month, pretending that everything was okay between the two of them? MC was tired of this platonic bullshit. He could make Saeran happy, couldn't he? MC couldn't breath very well. Shit, he didn't bring his inhaler either. Saeran was still talking.

MC felt the flower petals dropping off his tongue, and tasted the sour taste of bile along with charred beer. He tasted Saeran's lips faintly as he remembered all the times that they'd kissed, all the time's they'd laid together, stared into each other's dark eyes, MC holding on for just a little too long as he fell in love with the only friend he'd ever had. 

He saw Saeran in his head, blowing out the candles on a birthday cake that Saeyoung and MC had made for him, how his eyes had twinkled with gratitude and happiness, emotions that rarely appeared on his sharp features. Beautiful in the darkness when MC slept over, the refrigerator light illuminating Saeran's slim silhouette as he tossed MC a can of coke, cherry, and they shared a bag of Honey Buddha Chips, laughing at poorly-edited horror movies.

He remembered their first kiss at that party, MC against the door, Saeran's eyes twinkling as he leaned in, lips so soft that MC melted, his soft touch growing rougher as they laid back against the bed- MC stopped himself. 

They were best friends. And now MC was losing Saeran, losing him to a boy who was prettier, funnier than MC, a boy who Saeran loved more that the feel of MC beside him. MC felt his place beside Saeran's thrown slipping, falling into a trapdoor that nobody knew about, and his back was stabbed as he began to understand that he was to walk these streets alone from now on. He was slipping from Saeran... 

Flowers bloomed from his lips, making it harder to breath. And then Saeran was beside him, eyes concerned and then wide as a black rose bloomed from MC's mouth, his back arching in pain as a stem followed, thorns catching on his lips, mouth, throat, heart. 

MC couldn't breath as he realized he'd never taste Saeran's lips again. He felt Saeran's hand on his back, and his voice was worried. MC couldn't hear him. Saeran's high voice yelled into the phone, and MC spluttered, face turning red as he choked. His vision went dark, and even then he couldn't breath. Saeran was screaming his name...