Crybaby Boy

Chapter One - Clusterfuck Anyone?

Chapter One - Clusterfuck Anyone?

“They’ve got a word for that in the army, son.  It’s called a ‘clusterfuck.’”

- Jon Mason

That was my grandfather’s favorite saying.  He died when I was little, but I remember him well.  He and my grandmother were always full of sayings like that, and now, in my greatest times of need, they all come back to me.  Okay, they may not come to me with the best timing, but they sure do keep me going.

            Now, when I was a wee little thing, I thought a clusterfuck was some sort of candy, and every time I asked to try some, my grandparents laughed at me.

            One nice, big, crunchy, chocolate covered clusterfuck.  Yum.

            Clusterfuck, anyone?  I’ve got plenty to spare.

My day just keeps getting better and better.  Like being peed on by your two year old sister first thing in the morning isn’t enough, then you get half cooked alive in the shower (I swear, that thing is evil), and are forced to say grace at the breakfast table (so much fun when you’re atheist), now that’s just the way everyone wants to start Friday morning, isn’t it?

            And I thought Mondays were the worst….  Well apparently not anymore.  If the things that have already happened in the hour and a half of my being awake were not enough bad luck for one day, then I don’t know what to think of the current situation.

            I rewind a bit so I can gather my bearings…  Okay, I woke up, got peed on and went to shower.  The rusty showerhead made the water come out in a hot burst, like it always did at regular intervals, but my timing was off so I got burned, tripped and fell, prolonging my misery.  Went out to the dining area in our apartment to eat dinner with my mom (dad wasn’t home again) and the eleven sisters that still lived at home.

            Eleven, yes eleven.  I can count.  The two older than me had long since moved out, and I could have moved out years ago, but I still stayed at home since it was easier and my mom needed help with all those girls running around her house.  Staying at home also enabled me to share more of my earnings with them.

            I remember sitting between Halwyn and Salbei at breakfast, my two closest siblings and having to say grace.  That was the third stroke of bad luck there.  I believe in coincidences, but not in mass.  One coincidence, yes.  Two, no.  Two is one too many coincidences, and means you’re on your way to something much worse.

            My memory started to get a little fuzzy after that.  I dropped Anise and Andora off at their daycare around the corner and was headed to my work at Blackbird’s… and then….

            It all came back in a flood of images and emotion….

            On my way to work, I saw a glint of metal on the ground and bent over to pick it up.  Every little bit can make the difference, especially in my family.  My younger sisters are the reasons I haven’t moved out yet; to save money and to help them with money.

            I barely had the coin between my fingers when the world began spinning.  Next thing I knew, I lay sprawling on the ground in a dark alleyway, the wind knocked out of me, my head spinning so much I probably couldn’t have told up from down had my nose not been pressed against the concrete, hurting, though thankfully not broken.  It was bleeding like bloody hell though.

            What the-?  I couldn’t even finish a mental question before my assaulter flipped me over on my back in one fluid movement, and shoved some sort of cloth into my mouth, tasting faintly of rose soap and… basil in my mouth, grabbing me by the collar (and thankfully not by the tie).