three cheers for sweet revenge

give 'em hell, kid

He gasped exasperatedly, clutching his chest as he shot up in bed. His forehead was coated in a heavy, cold sweat, and his eyes were mirroring absolute terror. He wiped his face, panting quietly.

It took a minute for his wide eyes to adjust to the dark room, and a little longer for him to notice the figure next to his bed. The shadow smelled of mint and fire, a contradiction he found oddly comforting.

"Jesus, I thought you were more intelligent than that. You still haven't worked out who I am?" The shadow yawned, shifting in the leather chair.
"No, and at this point I'm not fucking around so get the fuck out of my house." He grunted, rubbing his eyes harshly. The shadow sighed.
"You'll cut the tone seeing as I'm the only one who can communicate with the dead."
"Y-you can?! That means you can contact my wi-"
"No, you dipshit. I mean that you're dead. She's fine."
"So I'M the one who got shot that night? Those bullets I saw in MY WIFE were actually in me? Get fucked, asshole. How dare you disrespect her like that."
"Why won't you believe me?"
"That's pretty fucking self-explanatory, don't you think?" He grumbled tiredly.

They rolled their eyes, breathing out a short and sharp sigh.
"Why the fuck haven't you figured it out yet?" They grumbled, and he chuckled sarcastically.
"OH SURE! TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT BECAUSE YOU WON'T TELL ME WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE!!" He exploded, tugging his long black hair.

"Since I have to fucking spell it out for you... D-E-V-I-L."
"Oh, you have to be shitting me."
"Oh shut up. I'm here to help."
"How in the actual fuck could YOU help ME?"
"Shut up and listen, maybe I'll fucking tell you."

He scoffed, shutting his eyes as he waited for them to explain everything. He cracked his neck, sighing sharply.

They eventually explained everything, and he took in all the information he could hold. His brain still hurt like a bitch.
"So, I'm dead... And my wife is still alive out there... So that funeral was mine? I was watching my funeral, and my wife was the one burying me? But she didn't crash, right? She's okay, right?"
"She crashed, but she's fine. The hospital is taking good care of her. And, you can see for yourself."
"How!? Tell me how!!"
"Bring me the corpses of a thousand evil men."
"I have to murder a thousand men..?"
"There you go, you're finally getting it!"