Kerosene Hearts

vii.

11:11
November
Marsden Residence

"Tell me about your family."

"I adored my grandparents. I have never been that close with my family, but all the times I went to visit them sort of made it up. They really did love me, I think."

"I don't know my grandma that well. But I used to be really close to her. I never got to knew my grandpa at all."

"Why aren't you close to her anymore? Did something happen?"

"She- she was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and she still isn't- cured. I guess we just don't spend as much time together since then. You know, with me and school and her in and out the hospital."

"Come on, Jer. Surely school isn't keeping you that busy. Why don't you go visit her more often?"

"..."

"I mean, I don't mean to judge you or be bossy. It's just- I don't know a lot about what is going on with your life or how your relationship is with your grandmother, okay, but I'm guessing you love her?"

"I do."

"You know, I have read too much about how people only regret not spending enough time with their loved ones once it's too late. I've always hated that. It keeps happening, everywhere, to everyone. I hated it. I was scared of doing the same, too.

"I know how you feel. Sometimes you want to show love, but you're too afraid; you're waiting for a legitiment reason, an excuse. That is usually when the hospital comes in. But it's already too late then, isn't it? It's always too late then. When it comes to the people you love dying, it will always be too late.

"I tried to avoid making the same mistake. I really did. At some point I just sucked it up and went ahead to visit my grandparents out of the blue. They live two hours away. Imagine their surprise. I just went up to them and told them that I loved them, and I missed them. They were glad to hear that, but they were also pretty freaked out."

He chuckled when he heard that, extending his legs in front of him. She did the same. Later, when she had left the States for real, they would still remember how they sat there, opposite but next to each other, pouring their hearts out on that narrow bed of his. Again and again. And they would miss it so much their hearts would clench in pain.

"What happened then?" How did it lead up to the point when they died, he was actually asking.

"I spent more time with them after that. A couple of months later, my grandma was sent to the hospital. She had a stroke. I was at school. No one told me anything. I didn't know anything until when I made my daily call to my grandparents that night. She died while I was having lunch at school."

A light squeeze on her leg brought her back.

"I still wish I was with her at her last moment. But oh well, that's life, I guess. I was with my Grandpa at his last moment, though. He was at the hospital for a month before he couldn't make it anymore. But enough about me. My point is, it would be really nice if you can spend more time with your grandmother. I am sure she could do with the support and company. I know for a fact how tiring and depressing cancer treatments can be."

"..."

"I will go with you if you want."

"Really? You would?"

"I would love to meet her, Jeremy. Of course I woud."

"Thanks, Zelda."

"Should I call her now? Let her know we're visiting?"

"Why not? Go ahead."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Grams? It's me, Jeremy. Yeah. Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while..."

"Well, I'm thinking of visiting you this week..."

An encouraging nudge from her was felt on his leg. He bit his lip.

"I miss you."

A weight was lifted of his chest. Breathing was easier now.

"Yeah. Yeah. Would this... Saturday be a good time? Okay. Me too. I'll bring a friend along. Is that okay?"

"Not really... She's a new friend I made."

"No! I mean, no. We're just really good friends. So can I bring her along?"

His cheeks pinked. She wondered why.

"Grams..."

"Okay, okay. I'll see you on Saturday then. Love you, Grams. Bye."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Don't look so smug."

"I'm not! I'm just happy."

They were both smiling.

"Thank you, though. Really."

"No problem at all. It was all you, anyway."