Sweeter Than Heaven and Hotter Than Hell

Chapter 1 - Heaven is Not What We Thought

AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This story is about Heaven and Hell as a fantasy land, these are not my real beliefs. I have my own beliefs, however, and I don't need your sass. I've already found God and I already think he'll have to accept me as I am or find somewhere else for me. So, please, if you have a comment about how I'm going to Hell, you're just wasting your time, sweetie.

THERE'S GOING TO BE CUSSING

THERE MAY BE ADULT CONTENT, DUNNO YET

Yeah, this story is gonna be weird, but you'll love it. Don't lie.

**Temporary Name** if you think of anything better for the title, please let me know.

Comment, vote, fan, dance

Prologue

"Welcome to Death; let's find you a suitable afterlife, shall we?

Let's see here...cause of death; car accident - oh, you poor thing. Didn't even see the truck skidding to a halt, did you?

Months leading to your death; no drugs, no alcohol, sex with your wife on your twentieth anniversary. All perfectly fine there.

Teenage years; straight A's in school, one steady girlfriend, didn't even try drugs...

Well, it looks like you're in for the best, honey. Please follow Mallory, your new gaurdian angel, into Heaven. First door to the left. Enjoy your afterlife! I hope it's everything you dreamed of! Ah, let's see, who do we have next? Samantha Bright. Oh...oh...oh...well, looks to me like you really aren't that bright, honey.

Cause of death; drug overdoes. At only seventeen? Tisk, tisk, tisk...

Months leading to your death; three sexual parnters, one of them a woman, drugs, alcohol, swearing...oh, my. Darling - oh, please, please don't cry - please follow Draco to the right, down the hall. You'll find a staircase to the basement there. Oh, don't mind the flames, they're harmless."

Death; it's supposed to be the end for us, somewhere we can lay down our heads and rest after years of struggling to survive. Maybe that's why people kill themselves - so they can get out earlier and see the glory that awaits them. A place where you can relive your better days and live in a place of bliss and luxery. Heaven's plooming clouds of ivory form the softest ground you have ever known. The white pillars that support palaces and penthouses stand on either side as you walk to the Savior you've longed to see since you were born. You've been told of His beautiful deeds, His glorious powers. You've seen His carefully structured Earth He holds on a string. And now you're about to meet the man Himself.

That is, only if you were good enough during your life. Maybe in your life, while you were partying and drinking and having fun, you forgot to repent and admit your sins. Now you walk into the stone grey building between Heaven and Hell called Death. Hope, the 'receptionist', looks over your file on her fancy computer and decides where you go. To the left is the glowing white halls of the very place you wish to go. To the right it's dark and dank, until you open the cellar door where flames lick at your feet, begging you to come down and play.

The black, coal floors of Hell are cold, despite the flames all around you. Ashes swirl the air with black smoke, filling your lungs, and no matter how hard you cough you can't choke the air back out. Your devil continues to lead you deeper into the heart of this wasteland until you reach His seat. Horns and teeth are all you see at first, until you overcome your shock and see his evil, twisted face...

You better be good or you just may end up in the fiery pits of Hell, where you'll spend the rest of your afterlife paying for your sins. Play by the rules, do good and help others, and hope that you'll be lucky enough to get a cardboard box on the beautiful golden-laid streets of Heaven.