Hey... It's Me

Chapter 2.

*next day*

Josh hasn't talked to me but his friends haven't changed. They're still jerks. I got off the bus and walked into the place of torture... school. I walked to my locker to see my drawings hung up in the hallway with red X's on them, they were the original copy. I quickly opened my backpack to see that my notebook was gone. Josh hadn't given it back to me. Josh took the notebook and hung my drawings. I should've never showed him! I didn't even want to show him! I only let him because his friends had already seen them so there was no point in hiding them but now the whole school has seen them. Josh and his friends walked around the corner, laughing.

"Nice drawings, dork." One said.

I heard people in the hallways whispering and laughing into their hands.

"Freak." "Weirdo." "Creep."

Wait, did they find my camera?

I ran past everyone and opened my locker to see that my camera was still in there, I sighed but I wasn't completely relieved. I walked back to where the drawings were and began taking them down without saying a word. Eventually I came across a certain drawing. It was the one I did at the pep thingy. I drew Josh.

"Stalker." One of them said. "Hey Josh, look at this one."

Josh took the paper from my hand and then looked up at me with a worried look.

"Why would you do this?" He asked.

I didn't have anything to say so I just took the rest of the pictures, threw them out and walked away. I spent the rest of the day hiding my head between my arms during class and trying to make myself appear as small as I could. I sucked in my gut as much as I could and held my arms and legs together tightly then I hunched over the desk and buried my head. I just listened to all the whispers and laughs that were made about me. I knew Josh was lying yesterday. I knew he'd never actually try to be my friend. Who'd want to be friends with me? They were right, I am a creep.

After school I saw Josh walk down the pavement to go home and I couldn't help but follow him. I stayed far behind him and stuck close to areas where I could hide but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to walk home myself. I took my camera out of my backpack and took a picture. I took a few pictures. Then he turned around. I ran around the corner hoping that he hadn't seen me. I turned back around slowly, he was gone. I sighed and then began to walk home.

They were right, I'm a stalker.

My parents weren't home. I went into my room and threw myself onto the bed. The blanket looked blacker than black. As if it were something I could drown myself in. If I could suffocate. I looked down at the bright blue veins under my pale skin.

Why am I alive?

I thought about questions like these when it gets quiet.

What's my purpose? Why am I here?

It wasn't the question itself that scared me, but that fact that I didn't know the answer terrifies me. I know that I shouldn't give up on life because I have to much more to look forward to but it gets kinda hard to believe that there are good things in life if you haven't seen the slightest hint of them yet.

What's stopping me from ending it all?