Chapter 16: Communication station

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We soon reach my house and I hop out of the van just wanting to quickly get inside before anyone can see the shine of unshod tears in my eyes.

"You're sure you're ok?" Zak asks.

"Fine, tired." I barely muster to mumble, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Ok, go sleep we'll call you later. He says. Not 'I will,' but 'We will. 'I sigh again, nod in acknowledgement and turn towards my door. I knew I was being silly but I didn't care, after all that had happened I didn't want to be alone and I didn't like this distance from Zak. I open the door and hear the van pull away behind me.

Inside I grab a drink, visit the bathroom and have just about enough energy to pull off my boots and jeans before falling into bed.

I was so exhausted you would think that sleep would come easy but no. I would doze lightly but mostly I am tossing and turning. I couldn't get comfortable. My throat was sore and I couldn't stop the disturbing images that were invading my thoughts. After a couple of hours I give up and figure that I'll grab a shower, watch a movie and try to quiet my mind. I checked my phone and see that Zak had been tweeting while I was trying to sleep. It shouldn't but knowing he was still awake but didn't want to talk to me, only his fans, really bothered me. I tried to shake the feeling and took the longest shower feeling the night's events being washed into the past. I sat on the bed, trying to muster the energy to dry my hair when I thought I had better check facebook and let everyone know I had survived the night.

'I made it! Not quite unscathed but close enough. I ain't afraid of no ghosts! ghost emoji'            

I typed and pressed send. Not even a minute later my phone rang, it was Zak! My breath caught in my throat.

"Hi,everything ok? " I asked trying to sound nonchalant even though that's the last thing I was feeling.

'I was going to ask you that, why aren't you sleeping?" He asks.

"I tried but failed." Trying to keep my tone casual, still not wanting to worry him. "How about you?"

"Same.So, ummm, I was wondering, errr as we're both awake and umm, as long as you don't mind, would it be ok if I came over?" He stumbled to ask.

"Uh,sure! Of course you can." I reply in surprise, trying to ignore how adorable he sounds.

"Ok, cool, i'll be there in 15." And he hangs up.

I rush around, finishing my hair and throw on some baggy trackies and Zak's hoodie. I shrug to myself, casual and comfort were my first priorities right now and there was a slight chill in the autumnal air. Just as I had pulled on my fluffy socks there was a knock at the door. I open up and there he stands in his own baggy track pants, tee and jacket. He stands slightly hunched, his hands in his pockets, baseball cap pulled low over his glasses covered eyes. He fills up my entire doorway with his athletic frame.

"Hi," I smile softly and go to move aside to allow him in, but before I can move away he steps forward and I am enveloped in his arms and he buries his face in my hair.

"I'm sorry." He whispers and the sorrow emanating from him is tangible as I hug him back hard. Eventually Zak lets me go and stands on my doorstep not making eye contact.

"Come in and tell me exactly what it is you think you have to be sorry for." I demand, completely perplexed. He comes in and drops heavily on the couch and huffs. I sit next to him, face him and punch him lightly on the arm. "Come on spill it!" He takes a deep breath and still unable to look at me he starts.

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