Alice wasn't too fond with the concept of prayer and religion
She always fancied it to be blatant fiction or mere superstition
But her parents always warned her about being damned into submission
Where if you didn't listen and follow tradition you'd burn in the Devil's Kitchen
So when the priest commenced the wedding to begin
She felt her skepticism burn as deep as her supposed sin
The priest had white beady eyes that traced about the hills
And wore a stern face that gave Alice the chills
'We gather here today to wed Sarah and Dick,
Their love so intimate and infinite like arithmetic,
Where God will now and forever protect them and their future family
To gallantly give them gravity in their new lives through this baptistry...'
Alice grew bored very quickly with the priest's rambling oration
Lost in translation she decided to dream about foreign nations
And ended up gazing at the church's stained glass windows
Becoming immersed in the shadow of its legends and heroes
'I'm going bonkers and at this point would rather be in Yonkers getting chased by fire-breathing monsters or getting dissected by rainbow-colored doctors!
I need to get out of this room before I fuckin bust a vein and go insane like Mary Jane on some cocaine while poppin gold champagne like King Charlamagne ridin on a lion's mane through a whirlpool of bloody stains and severed brains...'
Alice felt a rush inside propel her out of the sectioned pew
Her legs became robotic and marched towards the confession booth
Mother and Father didn't even take a glance to notice what was happening
And Alice questioned her own curiosity to see if she was merely imagining
When Alice walked past the curtain she sat in silence
Deserted and isolated in darkness like the Pacific Islands
But from the corner of her eye, she detected a shimmer of light
Golden bright as if soaked in Herme's cosmic twilight
She picked it up in awe and realized it was a chalice
And although beautiful - seemed to possess a certain malice
Alice pondered why it would be sitting there alone in the dark
But then was distracted by the goblet's intricate art
On further inspection, she noticed it was filled with red wine
That sat so peacefully it must've rained from Cloud Nine
In a hazy gaze her senses sank and her mind grew blank
With her plump lips kissing the rim as she soothingly drank...
Once she lowered the glass from her mouth and brought it down to her chest
She felt a grizzly roar rumble through her intestines and tickle her breasts
All of a sudden in front of her very own eyes
Arose a door to the Land of All Pies...
It was like a portal to another world of infinite magnificent dimensions
Where dreams lived on and fantasies spewed out like nocturnal emissions
Alice looked back only once to her monochrome dull reality,
And merrily stepped into the realm of flamboyant fantasy...
