Do You Need Help?

242 12 22
                                    

Nightmist: Welcome baaaaaack! Sorry it's been awhile. Admin is a stupid idiota and lost her password. And never bothered to get a new one until now. So! I haven't been able to torture Jayfeather for you guys.

Joining me here is Leafpool BECAUSE WHY NOT.

Leafpool: Greetings and salutations.

Nightmist: Stop being a fancy nancy.

Leafpool: How about you stop being a bitch?

Nightmist: No can do, Señorita.

Today we are going to follow Jayfeather around and ask him if he needs help, because, although he is blind, he is very capable and asking if he needs help annoys him which is good because if it didn't annoy him then I wouldn't be able to get my lulz and I need my lulz to survive.

Leafpool: That was a major run-on sentence.

Nightmist: Your life is a major run-on fail, so STFU.

Leafpool: >:(

Nightmist: OH. There he is. *points to Jayfeather* Our prey.

Leafpool: Can we not refer to my son as "prey"?

Nightmist: Whatever, Ms. Buzzkill. Anyway.... *approaches Jayfeather* Hey, Jay!

Jayfeather: *slightly startled* Hi, Nightmist.

Nightmist: Do you need help?

Jayfeather: I'm not even doing anything, except for walking.

Nightmist: May I clear a path for your Royal Blindness?

Jayfeather: Uh, no.

Nightmist: *does it anyway because screw you*

Jayfeather: ....

Nightmist: There. You are welcome.

Jayfeather: *walks to his den*

Nightmist and Leafpool: *follows*

Jayfeather: *is about to take a nap because why not*

Nightmist: Do you need help?

Jayfeather: *cuddles Natalia* With sleeping? No.

Nightmist: Sure you do!

Jayfeather: I don't.

Nightmist: Oh, but you DO.

Jayfeather: *snarls* Just because I am blind does not mean I am incapable of doing the same things as you.

Nightmist: Yes it does.

Jayfeather: LEAVE MY DEN.

Nightmist: No, you still need help.

Jayfeather: I. Don't. Need. HELP!

Nightmist: Yes. You. DO!

Jayfeather: No. I. DON'T.

Nightmist: Whatever, Mr. PMS.

Jayfeather: Dafu-

Nightmist: Hasta la Pasta! *leaves*

Leafpool: *follows Nightmist like a lost duckling*

Jayfeather: Finally. *falls asleep*

****LE FABULOUS TIME SKIP****

Jayfeather: *hums*

Nightmist: Are you going out to collect herbs?

Jayfeather: Indeed I am.

Nightmist: Do you need help?

Jayfeather: Not really, but if you want to come you can.

Nightmist: Cool. C'mon, Leafpool.

Leafpool: Alright.

****OUT COLLECTING HERBS****

Jayfeather: *chewing the stalk of some weird herb that Nightmist doesn't know the name of because she isn't a dumb medicine cat unlike Jayfeather and Leafpool*

Nightmist: Do you need help?

Jayfeather: *stops* Do I need help with what?

Nightmist: Y'know. With chewing that stalk of stinkyness.

Jayfeather: Oh, that's IT. *drop kicks Nightmist into space because blind cats can totally do that*

Nightmist: I'M A ROCKET MAN 🎶

Leafpool: Well, that's it, I guess. Nightmist will see you all in the next chapter, if she doesn't implode in space. Because it can happen and you can never be too sure. Remember to always wear your spacesuits, kits.

Jayfeather: I am SO done with this clan.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jul 23, 2017 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

100 Ways to Annoy JayfeatherWhere stories live. Discover now