Cinnamon Roll||Adopted By Lin-Manuel Miranda

six - belle

He's gone.

Was it a good idea to run? I can't tell for sure.

But I know one thing.

I should try the Hamilton lottery.

Maybe whatever God that's up there can say, "Belle, keep you're money; it's all you have. Now you go win that lottery!"

Probably not.

But is it worth a try? Yes.

As that thought lingers over my mind, I counted what I collected over the past two weeks.

I got $52 by day 15, and that's safe at home.

Now I've gained $20 from normal pedestrians, and $50 from the woman.

But before I finish my counting, I notice a crisp $10 in the bottom of the pile. Wondering who it's from, I open it up and see Alexander Hamilton, drawn on with a goatee.

I crack a smile. A real one.

Lin.

-=+=-

I get it now!

I was wrong.

I should've stayed.

Lin was the one who offered to provide for me.

Lin was to one who could make me smile...

-=+=-

My smile breaks.

I can't just go back now.

I can't say, "You were right. I'm sorry."

He's in my past.

I go to sleep and hope to wake up for the lottery.

-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Here I am, holding my now $80, walking to the Rodgers.

An hour before the lottery.

All of my money is in my pocket.

Minus Lin's bill, which I hold ever so tightly in my right fist, making sure the goatee is facing my palm.

Why? I couldn't tell you. I don't know, either.

I guess it felt lucky.

I'm not positive they hold a lottery, but I am positive that, if they did, it's an hour before the show. When else would it be?

Just because I don't get an education doesn't mean I have no common sense.

So I'm here two hours before the show.

Time passes, and I see about 150 people crowded around. Why is this so popular?

Well, I drop my name into the barrel-thing, and hope for the best.

But they don't draw names yet. Instead, the door opens.

Lin.

It's okay B. Just blend in, act like a fan.

I start to clap and smile, but it's that dreaded smile with the sorrowful eyes.

He doesn't see me, even though getting here an hour early put my in the front, he doesn't see me.

-=+=-

Oops.

He sees me.

He continues to speak, but his eyes only fall on me. I try to avoid him with every fiber of my being, but something's compelling me to stare back. He announces the singer and she comes out and does her stuff.

Oh, she sounds like Angelica. Cool.

Lin's back is on the wall, watching this Angelica-actress-I-don't-know-who-it-is-singer sing. But every so often, his eyes fall on me. About a minute later, my brain does that thing where it slows down time, and everything becomes silent.

He straightens himself back up from off the wall, looks slowly to the left, and then slowly moved his head forward again, but he lets his eyes avert afterward, almost like he's a mobster walking away from a scene. A little odd, but I can't think about mobsters right now. He does so all while he makes his way over.

I try to back up, but it's hard.

I hear him calling my name. But it's muffled.

Fan girls are screaming.

I see him hold out his hand to grab me as I turn around, but he can't. Instead his fringes graze my shoulder, and I leave the crowd.

I'll never know if my name was called in that lottery.

-=+=-

But it's all a hallucination.

Whoa.

I shake my head. I was never running, and Lin still hasn't seen me. Instead, he's focusing on the girl again.

The Angelica-actress-I-don't-know-who-it-is-singer.

I ponder over why I thought all of that could have actually happened.

He's unhealthy for me.

He makes me want a better life-

No, Belle. No relationships. Stop!

But I can't stop.

But I can't go back, either. We've had this discussion before.

...I don't win the lottery. I get out as fast as I can.

Maybe I should wait a while before I go back there.