The next thing I knew, I was lying naked in a bed that was not mine. My stomach felt like a clown had knotted it into a dog balloon, my eyes were glued shut and my head had gotten rocked by the forces of multiple defensive linemen.
I didn’t move. I worried the slightest of movements would cause me to throw up. I barely moved my eyes, and when I finally did, I saw I was alone.
Wonderful, I thought. I can’t even remember if I got laid. I know I kissed her, and… and… that’s all I can remember.
Where was I?
I had, by the looks of it, no answers. I wanted to laugh, but it wasn’t funny. I actually liked Addie and wanted to at least say farewell.
I began to sit up.
“Uhhhh, fuck,” I said, muttering under my breath.
To my left, there was a sliding door closet. To my right, one step led to a couch with a TV and a window. I rolled out of bed with the grace of a one-legged elephant and headed to the window. I pulled open the curtains and recoiled at the bright sunrise.
Sunrise?
“The fuck time is it,” I mumbled.
I turned around and saw it was 7:45 a.m. Oh shit, I thought.
I looked back out, my eyes shielding the sun. By the landscape, I knew I was at the Venetian. So, I must be in Addie’s room. Maybe she’s just off getting breakfast or going to the gym.
But why was I here if I had told Addie we were going back to my place?
I heard the sink running in the bathroom for a quick second, and then shut off. Oh, good, she’s in there, I thought.
I heard the bathroom door open, and I turned around.
“Hey girl, how… the fuck? Where’s Addie?”
“Addie’s fine. She left already. Put some clothes on, would you?”
I nodded sheepishly at Abby. She had on gym clothes and did not look any happier than I was to be awake at this hour. I felt shame, like Adam realizing he was naked in the Garden of Eden.
I found my boxers and other pants tossed carelessly on the steps. I put on my boxers and undershirt.
“Sorry,” I said.
Abby stared silently.
“Where is Addie?”
Abby continued to stare, arms folded, but after a few seconds spoke up.
“Stratosphere.”
“Why Stratosphere?”
“It’s our hotel room.”
I scrunched my eyes.
Was this a drunken dream?
Why would she be in Stratosphere if we were staying here?
I was so confused, and thinking made the hangover worse.
“Uhhh, fuck. Why am I in a Venetian room then?”
Abby audibly exhaled, as if preparing to make a short story long.
“According to Addie, you said come back to my place, but then she realized she didn’t want to be so far off-Strip that we missed our flight, which is in three hours. You said something about how you can’t be cockblocked by distance, so you offered to buy a room here, which she accepted. You two went upstairs and started to have sex, but you got whiskey dick and couldn’t perform and refused to go down on her. You said something about ‘king of clubs gets his or no one gets his.’”
