Broken•

Letting go

{AN: excuse any spelling mistakes and grammar issues}

Luke's POV~

As we board the plane I can't help feeling like I shouldn't have snapped on Trinity. I don't regret it though, it's my honest feelings and I can't help that. I was simply trying to communicate....did I do it the wrong way? I don't know. Whenever she needs you you're always there.

Hell, you spent the last few minutes with your best friends at an airport just helping her say goodbye to people you've known your entire life. Those guys mean the world to you and she barley knew anything about them. You chose her over your mates....

I love Trinity...

But caring for her rather than me isn't going to work out forever.

You've got to tell her that.

Your best friend is dying and all you care about is her right now...

Trinity can't be a priority forever.

It's time to let her go....

Staring out the small rounded window the runway taunts me. As soon as the wheels leave the ground I'm just a bit closer to seeing my dying best friend. I don't want to go but I know I have to. I have to see him, I have to let her go, I have to be my own.

I mumble a quick "fuck" under my breathe then close my eyes to hold off the tears that threatened to spill from them. In an attempt to man up I extend my shoulders outward and sit up straight. I angel my face slightly to the side to extenuate my jawline and shift my jaw a little bit. Inhaling sends a sharp pain to my lungs so I do it again. I slowly begin to lose my posture once again and lower my head. The small bit of confidence had then gone away. Almost as if I were a ballon. I took time to fill up with confidence  and then, in seconds, all of it was gone.

In my head are voices telling me to man up, but to be sensitive, to care more, but to stop being so passive, to be empathetic, but not to be pathetic. They're all saying something different and I don't know which to follow.

I turn my head to see Trinity, hands crossed and placed neatly on her legs wrapped in blue jeans. Her nails are painted black and she's wearing multiple rings, as per usual. I want to love her so bad, but the more I love her the less I care about me.

My eyes trail up from her hands to her wrists, the faint scars that taunt her skin give me chills. My eyes follow her stripes further up her wrists to her arms, her shoulders, her collar bone, her neck-

Her neck.

"Is....is that a hickey?" I extend my arm and brush some of her hair out of my way. I tap the purple looking oval on her neck lightly and look at her.

"No, Nono, its a bruise. I'm a cluts, you know that Luke" She laughs a little bit before looking down. But I just stare at her, my eyes won't look away although my brain is begging for separation. My eyelids feel heavy so I close them quickly.

I reopen my eyes to blinding light. A light so very bright I twitch and open my eyes.

Wait,

Open your eyes Luke.

I gasp for air because I feel like I'm drowning. With that, my eyes burst open. I slouch forward to gather myself as Trinity continues to pay no mind to me.

Is that what it's like to be dying?

Regardless, I brush it off and steady myself as the plane hits the runaway. Gritting my teeth at the sound of the wheels and runway colliding at a fast pace. It's a high pitched squeal that I never did get used to.

Standing, I grab Trinitys backpack and my own from the top carrier. I go to grab her hand she simply gives a half ass smile and holds mine gently in return. I intertwine our fingers tighter and she does the same.

"I love you" I don't know why I said that but it just fell out of my mouth so easily it had to be true.

"You mean the world to me too Luke"

You mean the world to me?

"I love you Trinity"

Please say it back

"I mean, I-" we weave between an endless stream of people opening up to the airport.

I cut her off, "you do love me, right?" I stop walking.

"Luke, you know I think you're amazing"

Amazing? I'd better be. Amazing people don't just give up their best mates for a girl.

"Trinity, say you love me back."

"...Luke, "

Fuck. I know this feeling all too well. Heartbreak. She wasn't the first and she won't be the last.

Come into my life, brainwash me to wait on their ever need just for me to be the good guy, the second choice, the friend. But don't worry, it's only up until they need something or someone.

"Are you in love with me or not?" I look her dead in the eyes, I'm beyond mad and I'm tired of being taken for granted.

"You're an amazing guy bu-"

"Trinity do you fucking love me?!"

"NO! LUKE! ....I-I don't love you."

"So what the fuck am I here for? Hmm? You need someone to hold your hand through life because God fucking knows you can't do something yourself. You know what? I'm done. I care and care and I know you do too just not the same way. I'm tired Trinity. I'm letting go" with that I drop her backpack and walk to exit sign in the direction of the taxis.

I'm letting go.