SHE | DODIE |

ten

  And oh it aches, but it feels oddly good to hurt

"I'm leaving tomorrow." She whispers into my hair. The unexpected words cause me to jolt. It had been a calm moment filled with lazy kisses and cuddles. Now that moment was ruined. I turn in her arms and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "What are we going to do?" I whisper back. Her eyebrows furrow and I elaborate. "When you go back to England- what even are we? Am I your girlfriend?" I question. Her eyes widen and whirlpool of emotions seem to hit her. She opens her mouth and closes it several times before saying,"I guess."

I guess? Her words echo in my head. Worry filled my every core at the seemingly insincere words. A hesitant smile formed on her lips as she soothed a hand over my tense shoulders.

I snapped out of my panic when she pressed a kiss against my cheek. "How romantic." I mange to tease. A breathy chuckle escapes her as she shoves my shoulder playfully. "Shut up." I grin back at her; my fear subsiding for now. I'm able to relax in her arms, safe from the world and all it's problems. Right now it's just us and nothing could break that moment. At least I thought so, but my heart starts beating faster and my mind starts racing because I guess is chanting in my head and being carved into my skin. The skin she's lazily stroking with her fingertips is burning with the words. I guess. Is this one sided? I guess. Is she going to move on once she's back in England. I guess. Does she really want to be in a relationship? Does she really want me? Her words were a seed and now these questions grow and multiply like a disease as I'm left to ask myself, does she even care?