Bob Duncan x Lord Farquaad (Bobquaad) Short Story

Crazy How An Ant Infestation Can Bring 2 People Together Forever

There was a call for Bob Duncan at his exterminator headquarters. He quickly picked up the phone off his desk and said, "This is Bob Duncan at Bob's Bugs Be Gone, how may I help you?" The evil sounding voice answered, "I have an infestation of ants in my house, mostly in the living room and the bathroom. I need them gone by tomorrow, because tomorrow I'm having a dinner party. Please be here in 20 minutes. My address is 456 Mod Street, not far from wherever you are." Bob, annoyed, said, "Bob's Bugs Be Gone." The voice responded, "Yeah, whatever. Just be here in 20 minutes, less than that I prefer. Bye, peasant." Then the caller quickly hung up. Bob put the phone down and said to himself, "Wow, that was different." Bob got to and grabbed all of his supplies and went to his friend, Tom's office. "I'm going to take care of an ant infestation. Bye, Tom." Bob said. Bob was about to walk out the front door when Tom quickly said, "Wait Bob! How are you about the divorce with Amy?" Bob walked back to Tom's office door and said, "Not so good, but I'm trying to forget about it. Thanks for caring, though." Tom took a sip of his beer and said, "No prob, Bob." Then a smirk went on his face and he started laughing. Bob rolled his eyes and said, "Haha, very funny, Tom." Then Bob went out to his van and drove to 456 Mod Street, like the caller said. It was an all red house, with a gold and black door. The windows were boarded up and the grass was dead. The bushes had litter all over them. Bob said, "Wow, what a great job if taking care of your house." And made a disgusted noise. He knocked on the door and a very short man who was shirtless with a hairy chest and black shorts with pink bunny slippers answered the door and opened it. Bob couldn't help but stare at his haircut, which was long and black, kinda similar to the Jonny Depp version of Willy Wonka, but longer. Bob stared laughing. The short man imitated his laughter and said, "Can you just get rid of these ants please." Bob wiped his tears and said, "Haha, yeah, sure." Bob stepped in. The inside of the house was sure better looking than the outside. Bob went into the living room and saw all the ants. Bob was used to seeing a bunch of bugs bundled together so he didn't have a disgusted reaction. He took out his Anti Ant Spray and sprayed it all around the room. All the ants suddenly stopped moving and Bob waited until they were all completely dead. Bob turned to the short man and said, "Do you have a dust pan and a broom?" The short man stared into Bob's dreamy blue eyes for a long time. Bob smirked and said, "Ahem." The shirt man quickly snapped out of it and said, "Oh, y-yeah. I'll g-go get it." He quickly scampered off and came back moments later with a dust pan and a broom. He shyly handed it to Bob, having to stand on his tippy toes, because Bob was much taller than him. He quickly stepped back and, while doing so, he tripped on the leg if the living room table. And fell flat on his back. The short man quickly sat up and avoided Bob's eyes. The short man blushed. Bob just smirked and let out a little chuckle before turning around and sweeping up all of the dead ants. 12 minutes later, Bob was all done with the living room infestation. Bob then asked the short man, who was just sitting on the couch staring at the floor, "Do you have any beer? Or any drink, really?" The short man looked up and said, "Oh yeah. Um, I'll go get you a beer." The short man stood up and walked to the kitchen. He came out a minute later with a Bud Light in his hand. He handed it to Bob, again having to stand on his tippy toes. Bob smiled down to him and said, "Thanks. You know, I never got your name." The short man said shyly, "Oh, yeah. My name's Farquaad. Lord Farquaad." Bob smirked and sat down on the couch. Farquaad sat down right next to him. Farquaad stared at Bob. "He's so HANDSOME! Those beautiful blue eyes, I could stare at all day. His, big muscular body, he could protect me with. Ah, he would never like a demented hair cut looking ass like me. He probably has a wife or girlfriend. He would be so disgusted if I asked him out." Farquaad thought. Farquaad found himself asking, "Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?" Bob looked at Farquaad with an upset look. Bob said, "Yeah, used to have a wife. We got a divorce though. Bitch took all of the kids. She told me I could never see them again." A tear ran down Bob's face. Farquaad quickly skooted over closer to Bob and wiped his tear. After he did, Bob quickly flinched back, but then a smile grew on his face. Farquaad blushed and said, "You know, you were probably too good for her. Maybe that's why it didn't work out." Bob smiled bigger and said, "Really? Thanks." Farquaad nodded. Bob put his hand up to Farquaad's cheek and said, "You know, I'm starting to forget all about her. It's you that I'm starting to think about now." Farquaad blushed and blinked and said, "Oh, r-really? M-me too..." Bob winked and leaned in and kissed Farquaad right on the lips. Farquaad almost had a heart attack (not literally.) Farquaad loved the moment. He loved Bob so much that he was the only person that he cared about right then. Bob felt the same way ever since he first saw Farquaad's unique haircut. Bob loved Farquaad even more than he ever loved Amy. Farquaad loved Bob even more than he would ever love Fiona, if they got married. It was the most romantic moment for both of them. They were fully in love. And right then, at that moment, all the ants from the bathroom came and formed a heart around both of them.