happier ↳ neymessi

entries | cinco.

neymar's pov

dear diary,

i was happier with you.

smiles are incredibly easy to fake.

bottles of liquor erasing all my pain.

gosh, i wish he knew what i felt for him.

but my ego gets in the way of things,

what if he doesn't feel the same way?

what if he's happy without me?

what if he's moved on?

I look at him now and he looks alive,

well, so do i.

but I'm not.

my heart feels like a huge weight in my body.

it's hard to keep myself together.

when you truly don't feel the same

I look back at the photos and I lose sense in the world.

my mood drops in a heartbeat.

I wanted to move on for myself

but I always find my way back to him

every s i n g l e day is a battle

and a reminder that it's all my fault that I feel like this.

I walk in the streets of Paris,

the city of love

but I'm not walking with the one I love.

I should be with him.

and I know I'm not isolated,

in fact I'm surrounded by masses of people

but I feel alone without my old teammates,

without my significant other.

without him.

I see billions of faces but his face is my favourite.

there's no going back,

and I'll always live with that.

ney.