LOST [ON-GOING]

THREE

Alam kong hindi komportable ang pakiramdam nya na tinititigan ko siya. But I can't stop staring at her. I cannot hide my interest in her. Not anymore. And she must be wondering why it took me this long to notice her. She's wrong about that. Matagal na akong interesado kay Adelina. Ever since junior year. Ever since I saw her in this field, sitting on the foot of the wooden bleachers holding a sketch pad and pen on her hands.

Tandang-tanda ko pa yun. She was alone that time. Well she thought she was but that time, I was just sitting at the back bleachers. Kitang-kita ko kung ano ang dino-drawing nya sa kanyang sketchpad. It was a sketch of close up view of hands holding between a woman and a child. Was it a girl or a boy's hand? It was a girl's. I knew it the moment I saw it. Since then, I admired her. The way her hand moves smoothly to draw the lines and curves. She knows what she's doing. She has that passion in her. I wanted to talk to her, wanted to tell her how talented and a great artist she is but before I had the chance, she was already packing her things on her bag and running down the bleachers, leaving the field. At simula ng araw na iyon, inalam ko ang lahat ng tungkol kay Adelina. Like basic personal infos. Everyone calls her that name, but Mara, her bestfriend, calls her Ina. I do not know anything about her family. I tried. Pero napaka-private nya talagang tao. Never ko rin nakitang may family member syang kasama na pumasok ng school. Kaya inassume ko na lang na baka wala ang parents nya dito. Never ko rin syang nakitang may kasamang lalaki o nakipagdate sya. Am I her stalker? Nah. This is the least things I can do to know her.

Mailap syang klaseng tao. Hindi rin sya mahilig makisocialize. Most of the time, kapag hindi nya kasama si Mara ay nag-iisa sya. Tambayan nya ang field kapag uwian. Mahilig syang magdrawing. She loves banana milk na lagi kong nakikitang binibili nya tuwing lunch. Kung minsan sa field, ay may dala-dala syang ganun habang nagddrawing sa sketchpad nya. At ang pinakanapansin ko sa kanya, she has that sad eyes. There's something about her eyes that say a million things about her and her feelings. She is afraid to be vulnerable, so she has those walls put up around her that is so hard to tear down. And I really really wonder why. What is the story of her life?

Napakamysterious nyang babae. And that's what makes her more interesting. I am interested to know her. Kaso masyadong huli na ata ako para gawin iyon. Since isang buwan na lang kaming magkakasama dahil graduation na. Kung tatanungin nyo ako bakit ngayon ko lang naisipang gumawa ng move, yun ay dahil sa tatlong taon na yun, I was the worst version of myself. GAGO ika nga. Aminado ako. At hindi ko pwedeng iharap at ipakita yun kay Adelina. Because I am sure, she won't acknowledge me. Or worst, she will be scared of me.

Binansagan kang campus bad boy, kumalat sa buong campus ang kagaguhan mo, sa tingin mo, papansinin ka ba ng babaeng pinagkakainteresahan mo? Hindi di ba? Especially Adelina. Kaya sa tatlong taon na yun, napag-isipan ko na, I will approach this girl if I have become the better version of myself. I have changed. Paano ko nasabi? Hindi ko na ginagawa ang mga kagaguhan ko dati. Right now, focus ko na lang ang makagraduate ng high school. And that's only a month away.