what kise might actually feel And What Might Actually Happen

they now noticed...

They finally noticed that i haven't texted, called or even talked to them in week's. I didn't think it would take them so long to realize that i haven't even talked to them.

They didn't even noticed that i wasn't with them when they did a meeting with akashicchi. That hurt, it hurt me so much.

I started crying in my room again. Why do they make me feel like this? Why do they make me feel so much pain? Why do i still respect them and call them my equals? Why do i still care for them? Why do i still think of them as family?!

I still continued to cry, why oh why me? It hurts so much! This pain in my chest...it hurts...this pain. This agony...will not fade. I know that, i just can't help but wish i didn't feel this pain.

They texted me a few times, asking me either what's wrong or why i haven't texted or talked to them in so long when it's only been three weeks since i last talked to or seen them.

The last time i saw then ended with pain in my heart. When i heard them speak so badly of me, i couldn't help but think 'am i so bad? Should i die?'. I hurt me hearing them talking bad about me as always, but something was different this time around.

I couldn't tell if they were joking or not, usually i could tell that they were joking or at least some of them were.

But that conversation....they weren't joking....they weren't. That's what hurt me, they weren't joking, they seriously thought i should die and wasn't important and someone who was an idiot.

Just because i didn't tell them that i made hundreds on everything in my grade and above, didn't mean i was an idiot. Just because i didn't tell them, they assume I'm just an idiot.

That I'm not worthy, that I'm just a stupid little brat that should go die in a hole if i didn't already...

I tried so hard to change their opinions of me. I tried so hard to help kurokocchi to bring back their joy of basketball. Even though they didn't noticed it, i could tell that kurokchhi was more relaxed then usual at that time when they thought no one could beat them and were not worth playing with.

I tried so hard to help them. Yet they didn't notice it. I still loved basketball at that time, when the other's stopped practicing and started hating basketball and all that stuff.

I still loved it at that time and still practiced it when no one but maybe kurokochhi did. I practiced with my current teammates, they didn't know that but i didn't have too tell them that, nor did i have to tell them that i was holding back in about every game or practiced we did together.

I don't have to tell them anything. No, i don't if they don't know then i don't have to tell them. If they don't notice then it's their fault not mine.

If they don't know, then why should i have to tell them when they can find out about it later?

What they don't know won't kill them....right?

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So short again but oh well. What can you do about it...

Hope you like and enjoy...

Ja ne~