When You're Falling In A Forest

Chapter 7

Things sorta get intense so I suggest not reading this in front of other people because it's possible that you might fangirl/boy all over the place.
Also ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING suicidal thoughts/ attempts, mention of being crazy/physco⚠️
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"Connor?" Evan repeated, walking closer to the bridge where the dark hooded person stood. They turned their head to look at Evan, and sure enough it was Connor. "What the hell do you want?" He grumbled.
"I'm sorry...it's just, you're parents would be so upset if something happened to you and I saw you running away so I just followed you out here to make sure you didn't do anything crazy."

"Crazy?" Connor said. "Yep, that's me. The crazy one, right? And you're just gonna tell everyone what a physco I am for running out of the house at 2 am."

Evan checked his watch. was it really that late already?

"Connor...I don't think you're a physco at all...I just-"

"You just what?! You realize that's what everyone fucking thinks right? I'm an outcast at school. A nobody. The one second I try to be myself everyone gives me a fucking hard time about it, and before I know it I'm beating people up and then they hate me even more."

Evan noticed Connor getting increasingly mad. "Connor, you need to calm down...just breathe."

"Just breathe?? It's not that easy Evan! I can't 'just breathe' and have all my problems magically be resolved. I mean look at you, you should know what I mean.

"W-what?" Evan stammered.

"You're almost as much of a mess as me. I mean you're a complete loser and obviously have some sort of anxiety thing going on there. You should know how hard this is, and what it's like to be treated like a nobody."

"Well...I mean I guess you're right...but...I don't know."

"You still have it a hell of a lot better than me though. My parents wouldn't fucking care if I disappeared, but I bet yours still would. And I mean my parents- you're like the perfect son to them, compared to me."

"Perfect? What do you mean, I'm a mess, and a freak. Like you said I'm a complete loser." Evan stated.

"And I'm not? I'm that and a lot worse. My parents and sister hate me, Evan. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm jealous of you."

"Of what?"

"Because no one hates you. You may be a loser like me but no one hates you as much as people hate me for being a jerk to them. You're not a jerk."

"Connor-"

"Even my sister. She obviously has a thing for you. I bet a week from now you two will already be dating!! That should be me instead." Connor grumbled.

"Wait...you mean you want to date your sister?" Evan said stupidly.

"NO, YOU ASSHOLE!." Connor shouted walking over to Evan, getting in his face. "I WANT TO DATE YOU."

Both of their cheeks immediately went red, and Connor walked back over to his spot on the bridge trying to hide his face.
"I just- I can't do this anymore."

Evan just stood there, still in shock.
Connor Murphy liked him?

Connor gazed over the river running under the bridge. He slowly took in a few deep breathes and then Evan could hear his breath become shaky.
Evan walked over.
Tears pouring down Connors face.
Evan went a few steps closer and put a hand on his shoulder. He was surprised at how Connor didn't show any signs of pulling away.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Evan said.

"Why? All I've ever done is treat you like a dork and bully you."

"Because I understand how you feel."
Connor looked up at Evan, their pairs of blue eyes meeting. "You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, when you came to this bridge was your intention to-"

"Yeah." Connor said not wanting to bring up suicide.

"Well over the summer, I uh...well, ya know this cast?" Evan said holding out his left arm. "I got it from falling out of a tree, we'll accept I didn't fall, I sorta...let go."

"Wait...so you mean-"

"I jumped out of that tree. I let go. I guess it was a suicide attempt. I just felt so alone that summer. I had no one."
"You have me." Connor said, desperate to gain at least a sort of friendship with Evan.

"Yeah...that's true." Evan said grinning a little. "So yeah, I know how you feel. I know what it's like to feel alone like you."

Connor took Evans hand, and they just stood there, staring off into the distance. 

After a few moments, Connor detached his hand from Evan's, put his back against the railing and slid down to the ground and sat there. Evan joined him.

"Connor, how often do you come to this bridge?"

Connor sighed. "A few times a week. Well it's only been a few times this month. I thought I was doing better." He sighed again.
"Tonight I just came and did the same thing I always do when I come here. Usually this place calms me down a little bit whenever I'm in a fight with my parents...but, I usually end up having the same plans every time I'm headed here. I want to jump. I always want to jump. Sometimes I convince myself not to...other times I get really close, and then I chicken out, and feel like more of a failure because I can't even bring myself to kill myself."

"Connor..." Evan said slowly trying to gather the right words. "Please don't ever jump off this bridge, or any bridge I mean-don't kill yourself okay?! Just like when I said I tried to do that last summer, I know how you feel, but you have to push these dark feelings aside and go on with life. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but please...you're actually really awesome and I would hate to see you kill yourself when I can tell that I lot of people around here really love you, like your parents and your sister, l can truly see that they care and it's just it would be so crazy to have someone that I sorta know just be gone and things would be so weird  at school and I just-
Connor reached over, gently grabbed Evan's face and kissed him.
The perfect way to shut him up.
It only lasted about 5 seconds but time stopped for both of them.

Then, Evan pulled away, shocked.
"Connor...I, uh" He stood up. "I don't think I can do this".

"Shit, I'm sorry Evan." Connor said standing up too. "It's just I think you're awesome and I guess I just try to hide it by bullying you a lot and beating you up because I know my dad would kill me if he found out I had a crush on you so I just- I'm tired of hiding because I really like you and I don't know what to do about it cuz you'll never like me back and-"
Connor went back to the edge of the bridge, lightly crying again.
Evan just stared at him. He wished he knew how to comfort him. The longer he observed Connor he realized how cute he actually was.

Was Evan starting to have feelings for him too?
But what about Zoe?

Evan went over to the edge where Connor was, and put his arm around him.

Suddenly Zoe wasn't so important.