I had no idea where I was going. It was opaque outside, hindering my foresight by a significant degree. In addition to that pestering fact, it was chilly and I was only in my short-sleeve dress. I hadn’t really thought much when I raced out of the suite following the quarrel with Zayn; well, I hadn’t thought enough to grab a jacket, my cell phone, and, while I was at it, a snack to eat. My stomach was growling as I made my way down the sidewalk, along the side of the road closest to the Bosphorus waters. Occasionally, a car would drive by, headlights nearly blinding me it sped by. It was almost two in the morning, what in god’s name was I thinking walking around by myself?
My tears had almost dried when they began spilling down my cheeks once more, a consequence of reliving the events of the evening in my mind repeatedly like a cinema. I admit it completely, I was sostupid for telling Mr. Mara what I had. I should have known how to conduct myself in front of the media, but I let my guard down for a moment and all of hell broke loose. However, Zayn could have handled the aftermath better. He had every right to become upset but he did not, under any circumstance, have to say some of the things he had said. What hurt the most was the fact that he claimed I had ruined his life and that there was no remedy for our broken marriage. That stung my heart like a poison dart.
I dragged my feet across the concrete, feeling lethargic and exhausted. It had been such a long day and I was emotionally drained. Things had begun so well… How did they end up like this? I kept making my way forward, away from the hotel- away from that asshole. I tried to erase every single pleasant thought I had ever felt towards him, telling myself that I was as stupid as fuck to find him admirable or attractive in any way. I was out of my mind. How had I ever managed to fall in love with him when he was so malicious?
I wrapped my arms around myself as tightly as possible as a strong gust blew by. I shivered, feeling a pain developing around the soles of my feet. Reaching down, I unbuckled the straps around my ankles and picked my heels up into my hands. I continued walking, barefoot this time. I’m sure I looked horrendous, my makeup running and my hair frizzy and messy. That was my justification for my currently safety; no one would want to kidnap and potentially murder such a hideous girl. Sound logic, as usual. Nonetheless, I was being stupid. Running away never solved any problems; I had to discuss things over with Zayn, even though it pained me just thinking about it. He was just heated, I had to tell myself. I knew what his temper was like.
I stopped walking, looking around. Shit. Fabulous. I was lost. With nowhere to go but back, I turned around and began sauntering the way I had come. Except, as I took a few steps in that direction, I grew weary of whether this was the right way back. I frowned, feeling fresh tears stinging at my eyes. Fantastic. This was fucking fantastic. I was lost, cold, hungry, and, to top it all off, Zayn most definitely wasn’t going to come find me. “Why is my life so terrible?” I moaned aloud, tears streaming down my face. “What have I ever done wrong? Why?”
ZAYN
The hotel suite was quiet, moonlight streaming in from the large windows on the far end of the room. I sat on the corner of the couch, darkness encompassing me; I hadn’t bothered with the lights in the room, what was the point? My mood was as caliginous as my surroundings, it was fitting.
I had been seated like this for the past twenty minutes, immediately following Farah’s abrupt departure. My anger, at the time, had been consuming; after she left, I didn’t even care. I had walked into the bathroom, in hopes of preparing for sleep. However, as soon as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, reality kicked me in the face. I was ashamed of what I had done, as I had no intention of hurting Farah. Seeing her run off had begun to sink deep, creating a crater in the cavity of my chest. I hurried out of the bathroom and sat on the living room couch, staring at nothing.
