Strange - A Nygmobblepot Story

Emotional

"Oswald... Oswald.... please, talk to me. I was wrong, Oswald, I-I'm sorry, I just... I forgive you, Oz. Please just, say something..."

It had been hours since their talk with Kathryn, but neither of them had been brave enough to say anything until now. Oswald hadn't been able to look Ed in the eye. After Kathryn left, he just sat down on the floor, with his back to the other cage, and ignored him. What was there to say? Did Isabella being alive really change anything for him? No. It didn't. But obviously Ed thought otherwise. He was apologising. He was admitting he had been wrong to try and kill him. He was begging for forgiveness. It was all just white noise to Oswald. Nothing Ed could ever say would be enough. He had had his second chance. Oswald was prepared to die for him, even after he tried to murder him with a vat of bloody acid! And all he got in return was a bullet to the chest and the words,
"I don't love you."

Edward was beside himself. He wasn't prepared for this, and his emotions were out of control. He couldn't think properly, and his mind was just playing, "Oswald, Oswald, Isabella, Oswald, Oswald...", on a loop. He felt like he was back in Arkham, only this time, the screams of the insane were his own. He needed some clarity, he... he needed Oswald. He was the only one who understood him. He had loved him. But now he couldn't even look at him. Ed had tried to kill him over someone that wasn't even real! Isabella was little more than a ghost, specially designed to haunt him. And he had lost his best friend over her. Tears came to his eyes and started dripping down his cheeks. He took a shaky breath and went to wipe them away. When his arm fell to his side again, Oswald had turned around.

"You're crying.", he said, in an empty voice. He didn't sound concerned or even gloating; he was simply stating a fact. This made Ed break a little inside. Oswald being furious would be much better than this. This made him feel so small. He took another deep breath and went up to the bars, now letting the tears fall without interruption. Oswald's body language was screaming that he wanted to step towards him, but instead he took a step back.
"I am sorry about Isabella.", he said in the same toneless voice. Edward wondered if he knew how much it hurt to hear him like this. Oz's emotions were the things that fuelled him, the things he based every action upon. It was almost scary to see him without any.
"Never apologise to me for that.", Ed said, his voice shaking.
"She was a ghost, a spirit from my past, nothing more. She wasn't even a real person; she was just made to destroy me..."
Ed chuckled, realisation hitting him like a truck.
"And she did, by making me destroy you."
Something flickered in Oswald's eyes and he took a tiny step closer to the bars.
"What do you mean? How did killing me destroy you?"
Edward's eyes sunk to the ground. He'd have to explain the pills.
"Ed?", Oswald said, in a slightly softer tone.
"I took pills. To hallucinate you."
Oswald's emotions broke through for a brief moment and his concern was plain to see.
"Why on earth would you do that?", he said slowly.
Ed sighed and wiped away the remaining tears from his cheeks.
"Because, I... I missed you, Oswald. I missed you desperately. You're one of the few people that I have ever really cared about, and I killed you. Doing that... it killed a part of me. The pills made me feel sane again. Even as a hallucination you saw through my facade, you saw the real me. You made me admit to regretting killing you. And I do regret it, Oswald. More than I can ever say. The word sorry will never be enough. But I am sorry, Oswald. I'm so, so sorry."

Ed reached his hand through the bars slowly, almost mirroring Oswald from a few days ago. Oswald didn't move as Ed's fingertips grazed his wrist.
"Let's get out of here, Oswald. Let's escape, let's escape together and I promise you I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I'll do anything. Please."
Oswald was shaking, and his eyes welled up with tears, unable to keep them back any longer.
"Oh Ed...", he whispered,
"I can't."
Ed grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the bars.
"Why not?", he said, almost pleading.
Oswald stared up at him, terrified.
"Because, I... I still love you. I hate you for what you've done to me, but time will heal that wound. The problem is, I love you, Ed, but you will never love me back. I can't live like that, it'll kill me. And besides, you could be lying to me. I can't trust you anymore. You were the one time I let love weaken me, Ed, and I don't want to end up lying on the bottom of some river bed for real."

Ed let go of his wrist and stared at him hopelessly. So this was how much damage he had caused. Oswald still loved him, somehow, but couldn't trust him. Ed didn't blame him, but he needed to prove otherwise. Oswald was the only thing he had left, he couldn't loose him again. Suddenly, his brain switched on and an idea came to him. Ivy Pepper.