This is me...

This is me...Not so happy

2/12/12

I was sitting in the car wondering and thinking about all the stuff that's been happening to me like I've been depressed sad lonely angry and all the above and It all leads back to that one person I don't even know why it's like I try to separate my self from you but I cant it's like even when I don't want to think about you I do and it's like constantly too... I just wished you wanted me not just what I go which is not much I don't have a good body I'm self conscious I have very low self esteem and confidence I play it off very well but that's on the out side I look fat I hate my legs butt hips arms hair everything and I thing that's why it's very hard for me to get in to a relationship with someone because of all the issues I have I don't want to be vulnerable and open up about stuff like that and sometimes I wish someone would just know what's wrong with me and wouldn't even have to open my mouth and explain what's wrong with me.at times I just wish certain people could just read me like a book . And I just can have more confidence sometimes I just cry because of how I feel and look I just feel that I look so ugly out of everybody people say I'm smart and everything no one ever says I'm pretty or beautiful or anything I just wish I could have someone to tell me that and make me feel good about my self I have no friends that I really talk too I feel like I lost all of my really friends for some reason....I just I had someone and one even a therapist....); looking back on last month nothing has really changed I still fell the same like I need help and guidance....);