Crooked Young [OM&M BMTH PTV ATL]

Chapter 15: So Desperate And Pathetic

Song: Go To Hell, For Heaven's Sake- Bring Me The Horizon

___

I was currently so angry. I couldn't stop being angry. I just wanted to yell at everyone, especially Alan. Alan... what a fucker.

I was in our secret room when he walked in, limping. He had a black eye and a fat lip and I was still angry.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, I'm at an insane asylum, maybe you should ask the fucking doctors," he shot.

"Alan, seriously. Why the fuck did you just pick that fight? Do you want to get kicked out? They can do that, you know."

"Why are you choosing now to yell at me? Obviously, when you first met me you realized that I had anger issues," he said, his voice raising.

"That doesn't mean you can just call people sluts! Seriously, do you have no thoughts of women whatsoever? And what about Matt, why do you hate him so much?" I yelled, knowing I was getting on his nerves.

He grabbed my shoulders. "I don't hate anyone. I hate this place," he said through clenched teeth.

"Then take it out on the wall."

He suddenly pushed me against the wall, but I wasn't scared. I felt like I wasn't scared of anything.

Before either one of us said anything, he crashed his lips on mine in an angry fashion. My first instinct was to be angry back.

He had me tightly pressed against the wall, his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues battled for dominance, and he suddenly pulled away, seemingly out of breath.

"Jesus... you're good at that," he murmured.

I smirked. "I learned from the biggest slut of all," I teased, putting my arms around his neck.

He seemed annoyed, but he didn't dwell on it, he just kissed me again. Instead of these sparks flying, it was purely a euphoric feeling. A feeling of anger and lust.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me to the chair. He sat me down, hovering over me.

Suddenly the door opened and he pulled away. Surprise, surprise, it was Lydia and Matt.

"Oh look, the slut is at it again," Lydia muttered, glaring at Alan before pulling Matt away.

I grabbed Alan's hand and he squeezed it tightly. "Don't dwell on it, babe."

He sighed, turning back to me. "Where were we?"

I put my hands on his chest. "Not right now. I don't want to lose it here. You need to be able to deal with me first," I said.

"Come on," he pouted, pressing himself against me. He moved me so I was sitting on his lap on the chair. I felt something hard and I knew exactly what it was.

"I'm not ready," I said, leaning back. Suddenly we both fell backwards and we ended up on the floor.

"Wow, that hurt. Wanna give me a massage?" He asked, moving his eyebrows up and down.

I chuckled. "No."

___

That night when I went into my room, I saw Lydia staring at the ceiling. What a surprise.

"How can you just kiss him after what happened?" She asked.

"It was more like angry kissing. It's very fun, you should try it out sometime," I explained.

"I don't have anger management issues."

"What difference does it make?" I shot.

"Well, I don't have to kiss someone to manage my anger," she explained.

"Whatever. I'm sorry about what happened, even though sometimes I feel like you deserve it."

She scoffed, shaking her head. Suddenly, the energy in the room changed. "Did you give it to him?"

"What?"

"Your virginity."

"No, why?"

"Just wondering."

___

The next day was normal until I got out of therapy. Therapy was it's usual boring talk-about-my-feelings shit, but when I was making my way to the cafeteria, Oli walked past me, giving me a hard shove.

"Keep your animal under control," he shot, obviously talking about Alan.

"Keep yourself under control, you fucking twat," I muttered, walking faster into the lunch room.

Once I was there, I seemed to get death glares from every direction. I couldn't stand it, it was like the glares I received from my parents.

My heart started pounding as I looked around. I saw Alan walk towards me but all I was really seeing was the people whispering, laughing at me.

I curled myself up in a ball and started crying. I felt Alan wrap his arms around me, asking what was wrong.

"Ms. Martin?" A nurse asked.

I looked up at her. She controlled where I was supposed to go. She controlled my sanity. "The voices... they're telling me to kill everyone," I lied.

"Alan, I'm going to need you to back away from her," the nurse instructed.

"Where are you going to take her?"

"She'll be fine," she said, picking me up and taking me away.

She took me down the hall and put me in a room with one bed. There was a window with bars over it and a small desk in the corner.

I sat on the bed and she closed and locked the door. A few minutes later another nurse came in with a cup full of pills and a glass of water.

"Here are some pills for you," she said. I quickly took the pills and she left.

I knew they were going to take me here, and I liked it. I liked it because I didn't have to see anyone. I could be isolated from all humanity, as long as I told them about the voices.

I watched as a male therapist walked into the room and sat across from me.

"Jacklyne, I hear that you've been hearing voices," he explained.

"Yes... I can't stop them. They... they're telling me to slit everyone's throat and then my own. I..."

"It's alright. We'll keep you in here and you'll start feeling better soon, I promise."