Kairos - Lust (MxM)| Book 1 | ✅

25.Empty

Every piece of clothing was folded and neatly sorted out by shade and color. Black, gray, dark blue, light blue, scarlet, yellow, ivory, white. I would never have thought that going through Jack's drawers, wardrobe and closet would be so boring.

Until I found a green striped paper package stuffed deep into his sock drawer. A gift with a card.

'Happy birthday, Steve!'

My jaw dropped. Gripped by a sudden fear, I stared at the card. As if that could persuade the words to make sense.

I was rather certain that I had never told Jack my birthday. But maybe he had found out. There were ways. He seemed familiar with my teaching schedule so why not my birthday?

There was still a month to go until I would receive it. I shook the thing and hoped to get a clue about its contents.

How mad would he get if I opened it now? Very mad. Probably.

I ripped the wrapping without ceremony and found a plain brown box underneath.

With uncertain fingers, I pried it open. A coiling black leather belt or something spilled out. It was too long or intricate to be a belt, plus there were studs and metal rings in places. I spread it on the white carpet and it became clear - I was staring down at a leather body harness.

My stomach contracted and I took in a deep breath, hoping to make the fire in my loin subside. This was the stupidest, sexiest, worst best gift I could have ever received, especially from Jack.

I had to try it on. Never in a million years would I have agreed to put it on for him on request. I chuckled bitterly. But here I was, in the middle of his bedroom, alone and horny as a dog, struggling to make it fit in all the right places.

The cuffs fit nicely, and the corresponding rings for wrist locking dangled with a crystal clink: two hung from the collar, and two more connected to the hip straps. I swallowed unable to stop myself from imagining Jack restraining me and abusing my body as he pleased. I wanted it. All of it. The pain, the pleasure, the oblivion.

With the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of myself. I turned to fully face the tall mirror near the wardrobe. A scrawny guy stared with a sick empty look on his face.

My bare feet brought me within inches to the mirror. I exhaled. My breath condensed on the smooth surface, clouding the pitiful gaze reflecting back at me. Empty. I was empty.

I was empty but already full to the brim with Jack's face, his gestures, his many smiles, his sadistic humor, his odd sense of restraint in my presence.

A fiery need consumed me from within and I bent and crawled underneath the weight of my desires. I admired the man in the mirror, his butt sticking up as he stood on all fours, obedient and ready for a master. The hair on the back of my neck raised and I had to touch myself.

It was fast and desperate, reminding me of Jack's fury that first night when he rubbed our dicks together in the most simple and efficient way.

I stopped abruptly, heaving and trembling. My dick pulsed in frustration. Fine, I'll give it to you, but let's be smart about it.

My eyes looked about the room and eventually, the answer was staring me right in the face. A box of tissues on Jack's night stand.

I crawled toward his bed. Every strap of the harness worked against my skin, grazing, rubbing, and enticing my senses. The box seemed so far away, but the moment I reached it, I pulled out a handful of tissues and knelt by the bed burying my face in Jack's sheets. His scent was seeping into my pores and I happily drowned in it as my hand worked on bringing me to climax.

Images mixed and played behind my tightly shut eyes. Jack's words broke and echoed back at me.

"You're off the clock..."

"Mr.Finley..."

"You have until the end of the week..."

"Stupid. Remember to breathe..."

"I'll torment you properly soon enough."

"...there's no one more willing than you. And you, my dear Mr.Finley, laughed..."

"Do you hate me?"

"No," I huffed out the word.

"...you'll be disgusted no matter what I do."

"No, never," I moaned.

"Does this mean I get to do whatever I want to you?"

"Yes, please!"

I came in groans, drooling over the sheet. My dick pulsed violently releasing jet after jet of cum and a painful cramp spiked through my buttocks. Covered in sweat and fighting for air I let myself fall to the carpet. The pleasure passed like a breeze and I remained there staring at nothing.

Empty.

Lazily my body moved. I wiped the semen from the bed frame and from the floor as best I could. Most of it had landed on the tissues anyway. I left them crumpled up on the carpet and sought the comfort of Jack's sheets. I crawled into bed and spread my limbs under the cover.

When my hand reached under a pillow it touched a soft, strange bundle of material. I grabbed and pulled it out from under the pillow. My scarf. It was soaked in Jack's scent, but some of me was there too.

I turned on my back and stared at the perfect white ceiling.

At the warehouse, when he had wrapped my scarf around his fist, I should have known. Why hadn't I known? I closed my eyes and called upon the memories of that moment.

Jack was holding my scarf to his cheek. His smirk indicated that he was pleased. But jealous. So fiercely jealous and angry at the same time.

What else is around here?

I sat up enough to open the nightstand drawer from my lazy position in bed. Condoms, lube, cuffs, and butt plugs. I pushed the drawer closed and gasped falling on my back.

Jack wasn't kidding about supplies. I smirked. My happiness had no one clear motive. It was the recent orgasm. It was my scarf. It was Jack probably sleeping with it, like a token under his pillow. It was me wearing the harness he bought me.

It felt right. Every creepy bit of my messy situation felt right. I wanted Jack and finally, that felt right, even if, as always, my mind was throwing reasonable ideas at me.

He doesn't care, he's just a possessive asshole - that much he admitted himself. So what? He wants me. He's wanted me all along.

He doesn't know you, how can he want you? So what? I don't know him either. We have time to figure it out together. Maybe we'll be happy.

He'll use and discard you. So what? If I enjoy it why should I complain? It will last as long as it lasts.

Sleep swooped over my exhausted body and I sunk deeper and deeper as I circled back and forth between reasonable and 'So what?' arguments.