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how you met their korean asses

kim seokjin: you were just all up and about, flying around some random ass restaurant, stealing some food when all of a sudden this very handsome guy man was there and god damn your puh got wetter than the Pacific Ocean when he let out a very light fart, and lemme tell you about that small it was so good, it made you nut right there.

min yoongi: it was at this shit costume party. your costume- actually you just put on some black, short clothes smh why you gotta be such a slut. anyways, your slutines, my god is that a fucking word, caused you to meet yoongi, who was dressed up as shrek. you and him disappeared into a room and did some freaky deaky. each time he nutted, he yelled some shit like "oNION" or something, you were too zionks to remember.

jung hoseok:this shitface saw you looking all depressed and emo and decided to be your hope. as soon as he opened his mouth you punched him, causing him to be as good looking as he is now. you soon realized he's pretty cool and read him a poem, obviously about death. he was disturbed and tried to leave as soon as possible but you sat down on his lap and started making out with him. that was a month ago. be excited for your first child with him, wedding is tomorrow.

kim namjoon: poor guy was talking to a shop assistant in murica. you walked in and cringed at his english before walking over and all of a sudden you knew korean like god damn what kinda magic did you use. you translated everything perfectly and helped him get whatever the fuck he wanted. as a thank you, he took you back to the hotel and to make the longest story ever as short as possible, the day ended with him getting a good succ from you.

park jimin: you accidentally stepped on him. thats how you met. you were walking around, enjoying your day when all of a sudden there was this yelling coming from under you. you lifted your shoe and boom, park jimin be looking up at you, throwing his middle fingers. literally. one got into eye and you're permanently blind on there now. because of that, he decided to date you. you still step on him sometimes to this very day. and the sex also isn't the best.

kim taehyung: he was being this weird kid in the park so you thought "oh hey he probably won't kidnap me despite the fact that he seems very high right now let's go over there and try to get that dicc". you walked over to him like swag what's good, and he nutted as soon as you touched him. you were like "???" and he just picked you up and he just went dasi run run run. next thing you knew was that you were in labor and were giving birth to twins. one was shining so bright, you thought sweet baby jesus was coming outta your vagina. the other was a disappointment. ah yes, one like the father, one like the mother

jeon jungkook: you know those nice dudes that help grandmas over the streets? yeah, he was that dude. he helped you over the street. so what if you were 78, age is just a number, right, internet? he was over 18 anyways. and boi, I shit you not, as soon as he helped you over the street, it felt like his dick was tryna get up yo ass. aka he immediately fell in love with you because that's what happens in fan fictions. he pushed you against the nearest wall and went all licky licky on you. he broke your bones by that act but y'all still had fun.