kim taehyung was found on september 18th; floating lifeless in a bathtub.
—;;
his psychiatrist had arrived to check on taehyung as he would everyday but had instead, found his son underwater. he immediately dragged his body out of the tub, dialing 911 in false hope of saving his only son.
once the officials arrived they declared the inevitable.
kim taehyung was dead.
too late for anyone to save him, later discovering he'd overdosed on a variety of medications before drowning to his death.
the question was why did he do it? only taehyungs psychiatrist — his father, would know. it all tied back to one particular day.
april 22nd.
the day jeon jungkook slit his wrists & bled out.
jungkook had dealt with his own personal issues & suffered from depression which he could sadly, never escape. but that was until he met taehyung. his only true source of happiness radiated with that golden smile of his & never failed to be a loving & caring person.
the two boys had fallen deeply in love in the expanse of a few months.
taehyung had mended jungkooks broken pieces back together. or at least, that's what everyone thought.
the afternoon of their second year anniversary, taehyung had planned to surprise his lover with a picnic decorated with lights & all sorts of flowers in the beautiful meadow that they had first met.
so he drove to pick jungkook up but what he found destroyed him.
his first love — sprawled on the floor, razor blades in the hands taehyung once found warmth & comfort in. his caramel eyes were glazed over, stilled to never look into taehyungs own eyes again. his arms, wrists & ankles were all smeared in scarlet crimson.
taehyung held him, uncontrollable sobs erupting from him as he tangled his fingers through jungkooks soft hair. the boy begged for god to bring him back, not wanting to be left alone. his wishes were impossible but that didn't stop him from staying with jungkook till the police came knocking at the front door.
the first thing they did, was take jungkook's body away from taehyungs arms which had been an extremely difficult task. they'd met the eye of the storm as a fighting, thrashing, screaming, pulling, biting, teenage boy reached for the love of his life, which he'd never hold again.
the police had no choice but to sedate him & in his wake, you could say taehyung had died along with jungkook that afternoon.
everyday became colder as the world lost colour. guilt constantly strung his mind, blaming himself for not protecting the one person who needed it the most. he had failed jungkook & in his twisted mind, he had killed him.
both of the boys family & friends tried to comfort him but he pushed everyone away. eventually his father declared he needed mental help & as a psychiatrist, he bestowed the responsibility.
when mr. kim talked to taehyung for his appointments, everything was said professionally. the role as father had to come second since his patients mind was crumbling. maybe that's where he went wrong.
the mind can only take so much until it breaks down. thoughts whirl everywhere & nowhere at once & taehyungs mind did the only thing it could to cope with the pain. it created a fantasy.
mr. kim knew what was happening but encouraged it instead. a fantasy would keep taehyung oblivious to the truth & he knew it was unhealthy but couldn't bare seeing his son in more pain. so once the verbal checkups were done, he'd let taehyung write down his thoughts.
he never wrote more than a few words, folding the paper into a pastel envelope. except no one knew that later, he'd walk to jungkooks former house, leaving it on the "welcome" mat.
but even his fantasy got the best of him.
it had grown worse by going out late at night. drinking & the beat of the music were the only thing on his mind. carried away on supposedly forgetting jungkook
but imagining him as every boy he touched. he'd even gone as far to giving himself away to a boy named min yoongi.
eventually the fantasy, he created caused his own downfall. he began to hallucinate jungkook out in public, having interactions with him. it was all too overwhelming & eventually gave out. the truth revealed once again.
taehyung remembered the words jungkook once spoke.
" i don't want to see you sad anymore , such a beautiful smile should be shown to the world.."
taehyung spoke , trying to calm his racing heart.
" i love you jungkook . i care about you & i wish to make you happy. can i do that? can i be the person who makes you smile ? "
" but you won't always love my smile tae , love's bound to die ."
taehyung hadn't understood jungkooks words till water ran at his scarred ankles as he lowered himself into the glistening tub. feeling the icy cold water under his chin, he closed the turmoil of waves behind broken, ocean eyes. breathing out into the silence, his last words escaped from his torn bloodied lips,
"i guess jungkook was right."
