After Death (Hello, Death 3) (Completed)

Chapter 05: Premonition

A death god's eyes see not just death but sins.

***

The good weather lasted for a few more days. Parang hindi rainy season ang naging init ng araw. Sa umaga, umaalis akong busog sa almusal na luto ni Prof. Umuuwi ako sa hapunan. He also makes me packed lunch. Hindi ko mahindian kasi one-word lang niya ibigay: Lunch. Saka, sayang din 'yung matitipid ko. I still have to save for my thesis, upcoming conventions (graduation requirement), and allowance for when I apply for work.

Mas madalas na 'kong umuupo sa swinging bench bago matulog. Minsan, kapag malamig, nauupo rin si Prof. do'n kasama ko. We don't really talk but it's okay. Hindi na gano'n ka-awkward sa'kin 'yung silence. He may be bad in communicating but he's a good person. Hindi na nga niya binawi 'yung jacket na pinahiram niya sa'kin. Baka napansin niyang iisa lang ang jacket ko, manipis pa.

Slow hours naman kami sa clinic. Madalas nasa conventions si Doktora at sa hapon, isa o dalawang pasyente lang ang naka-schedule for consultation. Most of the time ay nagke-case study kami ni Miss Vanessa. They let me read files of previous patients for my thesis.

My life was mundane and I like it. Halos nakakalimutan kong nagbago ako at ang nakikita ko sa mundo pagmulat ko. But there were still shadows everywhere. There were death gods who recognized that I could see them. Mas lalo akong umiiwas sa public transportation sa worry na makakita ng kamatayan na hindi ko naman gustong masilip.

I was also waiting for the death god (that I couldn't remember) to take his feather from me, but he wouldn't come. Kahit gusto kong magtipid, bumili ako ng supplements para sa immunity system ko. Maingat din ako sa injuries. I don't want to get sick nor get injured, especially because I'm not the one who's going to suffer. Mukhang masungit siya ayon sa text messages niya sa'kin. Ayokong sungitan ako kapag binawi na niya 'yung feather niya.

Si Kyros naman, ilang araw nang absent sa park. Hindi ko tuloy maitanong 'yung ibang gusto ko pang malaman.

I was almost getting used to my mundane activities when I saw Mary Ann and the death god again. Nagkaroon ng schedule ng consultation every Tuesday at Thursday si Katherine, younger sibling ni Mary Ann. She was suffering from eating disorder and non-suicidal self-injury disorder.

I wish I didn't see it but I did. 'Yung death god na nakasunod kay Mary Ann, mas malapit na. After two Tuesdays, halos nasa likod na lang niya 'yung death god.

I don't want anything to do with it but...

"Gusto n'yo po ng coffee?" tanong ko kay Mary Ann.

She was sitting in front of my desk. Nasa session pa si Katherine. Wala naman si Miss Vanessa.

Ngumiti lang siya sa'kin. Non-committally.

"She's having an anxiety attack, right now. Do you want to kill her right away?" sabad ng death god na nakatayo sa likod niya. His grey eyes coldly staring at me.

Napatingin ako uli kay Mary Ann. Kalmado ang mukha niya pero mahigpit na nakakuyom ang kamao sa ibabaw ng hita niya. Tuwid na tuwid din siya sa pagkakaupo. I could see how she was shaking a little.

I reminded myself not to raise my eyes to the death god. Lalo na ang sumagot.

"Tea na lang kaya?" alok ko uli.

Naunang sumagot ang death god pero naputol. "It has caffeine—"

"I'm sort of not into caffeine. Tea has caffeine, too," sagot ni Mary Ann. "Cold water na lang, if it's okay."

Tumayo ako papunta sa mini-kitchen namin. I stayed there for a while para mabigyan siya ng chance na kalmahin ang sarili niya nang hindi ako inaalala. It's so odd. She was inside a psychiatric clinic. She should have known that it was okay to be seen suffering from any form of anxiety. Yet, she chose to suffer secretly.