Chapter 18

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Katniss P.O.V.

The past four days seem like they've only lasted four minutes. If even that. And now, Peeta's just minutes away from stepping onto the train that will take him to the Capitol. And tomorrow, he'll be thrown into the arena for the second time.

We haven't been able to say 'I love you' enough times. We haven't been apart for more than a minute. We haven't let go of each other. Even now, as we're both standing by the door with an arm wrapped around each other, it's like we can't get close enough.

"I'll be okay," Peeta tells me softly.

"I know," I say, but my words get muffled in his shoulder. I choke back the tears that threaten to fall. I promised myself I wouldn't cry today. I've shed enough tears the last four days. I can tell Peeta's been trying to stay strong for me all day, but we both know the truth.

No matter how hard Peeta fights to come back home, he still might not make it out. If Snow decides he wants Peeta dead, then that's all it will take.

I'll lose my husband, and our baby will lose their father.

Someone knocks on the door, and I finally let out a sob. We both know that it's Haymitch letting Peeta know that it's time to go now.

Peeta swallows hard. "I have to go, Katniss."

I let the tears fall as I cling on to Peeta even tighter. He pulls me back and kisses me. I know what we're both thinking.

What if this is our last kiss?

Peeta pulls away, but I pull myself closer to him again and rest my forehead on his chest with a sob.

"Please!" I cry out into his shirt. "Don't let me go."

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Peeta says quietly. He kisses my head, and his arms tighten around me once more. Peeta has to literally pull himself away from me. I know he doesn't want to, but he has no other choice. He has to go.

Peeta opens the door and begins to walk out. And that's when I panic. 

"No! STOP!" I scream as I catch the door right before Peeta closes it. Peeta turns to look at me with tears in his eyes.

"Katniss, please…"

"No," I say as I shake my head. "I'm going with you."

"Katniss, you need to stay here," Peeta tells me.

"I can't. I can't just sit here…"

"Katniss, listen to me," Peeta says as he gently grabs my shoulders. "If you go to the Capitol with me, then it will be easier for Snow to change his mind about you being excused from the Games. You have to stay here."

"Let her go." Peeta and I both turn to see Haymitch standing just a few get away from us. "We're only wasting time with you two arguing about it."

"Snow won't change his mind," I tell Peeta. "You know that he doesn't want to kill me. He wants to make sure I'm miserable."

Peeta takes a deep breath. "Okay," he sighs, then turns towards Haymitch. "You'd better not let Snow touch her while I'm in the arena."

"I won't," Haymitch says. Peeta looks back at me, hoping I'll change my mind. "Let's go," Haymitch says as he starts walking off.
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I open my eyes to see that Peeta's not there. I start to panic for a second before I realize that we're still on the train. I let out a sigh of relief and relax against the bed. He hasn't left for the arena yet.

I get ready to get up out of bed and go look for Peeta when I hear footsteps coming towards the room. I immediately recognize Peeta and Haymitch's voices, so I try to listen carefully.

"Haymtich, I hope you don't intend on breaking any more promises," I hear Peeta say.

"Look, neither of us intended for things to turn out this way, okay?" Haymitch says. "I know this wasn't the plan, but it's going to work out."

What on Earth are they talking about?

"It better," Peeta says right before the door opens. I quickly close my eyes, acting like I'm asleep still. Peeta sits down on the bed, but doesn't lie back down beside of me. After a little while, I start moving around so he'll think that I'm just waking up. I feel the bed shift a little.

"Katniss?"

I look up at Peeta and give him a concerned look. "Are you okay?" I ask him. "I thought I heard the door open."

"You did," he says. "I couldn't sleep, so I got up to walk around. I didn't want to wake you up, so I left the room for a while."

"Are you thinking about tomorrow?" I ask Peeta.

He swallows hard. "Mostly about you and the baby."

"We'll be fine, Peeta," I tell him as I sit up a little. Peeta suddenly grabs both sides of my face with his hands, staring me directly in the eyes. My heart starts racing from being shocked by his sudden movements.

"Listen to me," he says quietly. "I need you to promise me, that no matter what happens, you'll always be here."

I give him a look. "Of course I'll always be here for you, Peeta. I promised you that by marrying you."

"I mean it, Katniss," he says fiercely. I've never seen this side of him before. His hands grip the sides of my face. His eyes are so insistent, and the sound of his voice is almost pleading. "I need you to promise that you'll wait for me."

Even though I'm confused right now, I nod my head. "I promise." Peeta's face floods with relief before he lets go of my face. "Peeta, if you're worried that I'm gonna run to Gale or something…"

"No," Peeta says as he shakes his head. "It's just, things aren't going the way they should be right now. I just need to know that…"

I reach out and take Peeta's hand. "We'll always have us," I say sincerely. Peeta leans over and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pulls back a little.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he says softly. "The thought of losing you scares me."

"I don't want to lose you either, Peeta."

He shakes his head. "I don't just mean if you…" He trails of and shakes his head, not being able to say the word. "If that were to happen, then I'd know I'd never get you back. But, if for some reason you left me, I'd never stop fighting to get you back."

"You'll never have to worry about that," I say truthfully. 

"Thank you," Peeta says before he kisses me again. "Try to go back to sleep, okay?" I nod my head and lay back down.

I'm almost asleep when Peeta lays his hands on my stomach. I can tell by the way that he whispers his words that he thinks I'm alseep already. But it's one sentence that really catches my attention, and makes me even more confused.

"Don't worry," Peeta says softly as he presses his lips to my stomach. "You, me, and Mommy are going somewhere safe in a couple days. It might not be home, but at least we will be safe."

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