spellbound | book #1 | completed

epilogue

[edited: 04/06/2018]

The portal in front of Remy was composed of the very same shades of purple and blue that it had been the first time she had ever laid eyes on one—the first time she had ever laid eyes on him. She looked at him now as he gripped her hand tightly. He was beautiful; she had always known that. Now she did not just see him for his chiselled features and unruly auburn hair, or his peculiar eyes, though. Now she saw parts of his soul seeping through to his surface. Now she could see his wit, his unwavering strength, the love and compassion that he had tried so hard to hide behind his brooding, sarcastic exterior. Now she could see him for what he really was and that was not a warlock or a divine creature, but a boy who felt like home to her. A boy, who, admittedly, was often a pain in the neck, but never a regret or a burden.

She wished that he would look back at her, but he wouldn't. His eyes were straight ahead, fixed on the portal that would soon send her away from him. She had already said her goodbyes, with a quick, awkward handshake from Hilda as she thanked her for all she had done, and a tight hug from Tykon, who she had not been expecting to see, but had been glad to nonetheless.

They were all watching her now, her audience complete with the Principle Warlock and a few Council members who wished to show their gratitude. She looked around at them one final time, forcing a smile on her face. And then Hilda nodded, and she knew it was time.

She stepped forward with Maksim, Sarah following close behind them. Her legs felt heavy, as though she was trudging through mud, and she had to force herself to take another step. And another.

And then she was so close to the portal that she could feel the warmth of it on her face. It swirled tauntingly at her. Just one more step, and she would be home—if she could even call it that anymore.

She had not realised she had taken the last step until she was hurtling through the blinding light, Maksim's grip never leaving hers. She wished to prolong this moment, but she could not control the speed at which the portal took her and in a matter of moments she was landing on grey concrete in the very alleyway where she had first had a conversation with Maksim. It almost felt as though nothing had changed now.

She stood up, brushing the dust off her ripped jeans and eyeing Sarah warily. She still had one last goodbye to say and wished to do it without a third party watching. Her friend was pulling herself up, using the wall as support, before she looked at Remy with blank eyes.

"Well," she said quietly. "Bye, Maksim."

Maksim nodded, his jawline tensed. Remy was expecting some sort of conversation before the two separated on their journey home, but Sarah barely looked in her direction before she left the alley and disappeared back into the haze of monotony that Remy had been so afraid of returning to.

"She's never going to forgive me, is she?" Remy questioned, turning her attention to Maksim.

He didn't seem to be listening, though, his eyes distant as he stared at something past her. She wished more than anything that she could know what he was thinking now, that perhaps she could crawl into his brain and see his thoughts for what they truly were rather than how he filtered them to be.

"Max?" she gulped, a suffocating heaviness weighing down her heart and stomach in a way she had never felt before. She could barely breathe, knowing that soon he would be travelling back through the portal behind him and she would have to pretend that she had never met him at all. The only thing keeping her sane was the fact that she could go back, that this wasn't the complete end just yet. 

"It's funny," he said quietly in a way that implied whatever it was he meant was not really funny at all. "When we first met and you came through that portal with me, all I wanted was for this moment to come. All I wanted was to get rid of that irritating little mortal girl and go back to my life. Now ... Now I fear that you are my life—or, at least, the best part of it."

"Who would have thought it? You do have a heart, after all." She was joking, because if she didn't, she knew that she would cry.

"I would not go so far as to say that." A glimmer of a smile passed across his face, and finally, he allowed his eyes to fall onto her. They were darker than usual and sparkled with tears that would not fall. "Remy, I do not want you to visit. Not once a month, not ever."

The ground seemed to fall from under her as she registered his words. The lump in her throat was large enough that she thought it might suffocate her, and she found herself hoping that perhaps it would. "What?" she stuttered out finally.

"The war with my brother is not over and I will not allow you to be put in anymore danger. I want you to stay here, where you will always be safe. Besides, what is the use of it? It will only cause more pain to us both, seeing each other and knowing we cannot ever be close. We cannot keep pretending like this can work."

"No." Remy shook her head, her voice cracking as it rose to a higher pitch. "No, Max. I can't live here after everything that happened in Refilyn. I can't get out of bed every morning and look at grey sky. I can't walk down the street and see the same boring faces. I can't go back to this now, not without something to hold onto. Please don't make me."

"Do not make this harder than it has to be." His own voice was strained, and he spoke through gritted teeth, every word feeling like a stab in the stomach to Remy. "It is not fair on either of us."

"Fair? You showed me a better life and now you're going to rip it away from me because I'm not good enough, because I'm just a silly little mortal girl like you always said. How can that be fair?"

"That is not true, Remy. I said that before I even knew you, or as a way to convince myself that I did not have feelings for you. I was wrong. You are wonderful and you are capable enough to do something with your life, here, without me. All of this doesn't make you any better than you were before; you have always been wonderful."

She went to grab the key around her neck and realised with a jolt that it was no longer there. She had lost so much and now she felt empty. She squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them again, they were vacant. She was grateful for the numbness; better that than the piercing hole in her chest she had felt before.

"Just not wonderful enough," she nodded finally. "Not for you."

"Remy." His hands reached out and cupped her face so that she had no choice but to look up at him. He sighed, pain flashing over his features. His ring, the ring she had found on the floor after the first time they met, was cold against her cheek. "Believe what you would like, but the truth is this: you gave me a reason. You gave me a purpose that I did not have before I met you. That I have not had in my four hundred years of existence."

"And now that the key is gone it's no longer there." She stepped away from him, gazing at a graffittied curse word on the brick wall behind him so that she would not have to look at him again.

"No. You know that is not true." He shook his head. "Did you honestly think this could work?"

"I don't know what I thought. All I know is that you were given a chance to keep me in your life, and you don't want it, so that's your own loss."

"Remy—"

"Goodbye, Max," she interrupted before he could inflict anymore pain on her. 

He gazed at her for a few moments before finally nodding in defeat, his posture slumping as though he no longer had it in him to stand up straight. He inched towards her until his hand found hers and he was so close that she could feel his breath on her forehead.

"Goodbye, my little mortal girl."

She closed her eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead softly. When she opened them again, he was gone. All that was left of him was a blinding flash of light and the sickly scent of copper—the only reminder that magic had ever existed at all.