The Mafia Boss's Possession

Chapter 20

I wanted to stop crying. My eyes were hurting and a hideous red color, my nose was also red and sensitive from all the rubbing I had done with my tissues, and my cheeks were hurting from all the wiping too, but every time I tried to stop, I would just remember Carson's harsh words and how he was with another woman right now, and I would start all over again.

At least I didn't leave a coward. I told him what I wanted him to hear, hoping that he would have a heart and would give our relationship a try, and he didn't, but I had gotten it off my chest. This way, I didn't have to cry pondering over the ifs.

"Miss, we're here." Colombo parked the car in the driveway of my parent's house. I nodded and reached for my duffel bag that was beside me, ignoring the sad look that he was giving me. No doubt that everyone back at the Vescovi building was making fun of me, the stupid girl that fell in love with the most powerful man in the world. I guess I had been stupid to think that I could have ever had a chance with a man like him.

I got out and met with Colombo at the back, thanking him for the help and ride. I watched as he walked away and I mentally cursed myself for crying so much. "Colombo?" I called out, he turned around and I let go of my bags on the stairs and made my way down, towards him. "Can you do me a favor?" I asked, standing in front of him, wiping my tears away, looking into his eyes. "If they ask about me, just, don't tell them I cried like a baby," I laughed as he spared me a rare smile, "please, I don't want them thinking I'm even more pathetic than they think I already am." I sniffed, tugging at my sleeves.

"Yes, ma'am, and, we don't think you're pathetic." He assured and I smiled, nodding again. "We all really do hope you get better, you deserve it." He bid goodbye and left, getting inside the Escalade and driving away. I stood in the driveway and watched as the last of Vescovi left, completely separating me from him. I hoped that just like that black Escalade faded out of my neighborhood, my feelings and memories of Vescovi would fade out of my mind.

I sighed and made my way back up to the front door, gathering enough courage to knock on my parents' door. I wasn't sure what exactly they knew about my disappearance. They knew that I was going to be gone for two months, all of my break, but I had overstayed, I had been gone for five months, and I had never communicated with them during my time gone. I also didn't know if Josh had called them and had explained things, but if he hadn't, it would be left for me, although I wasn't really sure I wanted to. I wanted to forget about everything, I didn't want to talk about it, I just needed to move on and continue my life.

I fisted my pale hand and knocked on the door loudly, waiting for them to come and unlock it, I had lost my key in all of this. Patiently, I gripped the handle of my bag and listened to scurrying of feet inside the house. I heard the unlocking before the door flew open and my mom squealed with delight as she saw me.

"Hey, mom." I greeted as she crushed me in a bear hug, hurting my healing ribs. Her clean scent filled my nostrils as she swayed to the side and pulled back, and I felt the waterworks start again. I thought I was never going to see her again, but here I was.

"Oh, Ayva, sweetheart, you took so long and never responded to my calls, and look at yourself, you're so skinny and pale, what happened, dear?" She left her dainty hands on my upper arms as she inspected me. "Come on in, I just start dinner, you must be- Henry!" She paused to yell for my dad. "Come here! Your daughter's here!" She yelled loudly and I winced slightly, I had forgotten the pair of lungs she had.

"Ayva's here?" My dad yelled from the kitchen before he appeared, his glasses perched on his straight nose and his blonde hair slicked back. "Well, look at that." He chuckled before walking over and engulfing me in a hug. "Damn, princess, you look horrible! Did Josh not feed you over there?" He lifted my arm and I shook my head, smiling and tugging my arm back down.

"I'm fine, I just need some home." I looked around the cozy living room as I heard dad grunt when he picked up my luggage.

"Well, come on, tell me all about your trip!" My mom tugged me towards to the kitchen. I sat on the breakfast bar as she grabbed two mugs to make tea, as always. "How was it? Did you walk a lot? How's Josh?" She asked excitedly and I smiled, feeling a knot come up in my throat.

"Oh, mom," I croaked out as she frowned, pouring water into the mugs.

"What happened, Ayva?" She spoke softly as tears started spilling out from the corner of my eyes. I heard dad's thundering footsteps coming down the stairs and I quickly turned the other way, using my sleeve to wipe them.

"Well, that's done, and I must-"

"Henry," my mom interrupted him, walking over to the living room. "Why don't you go to Sally's Shop and get me that tea that I forgot the other day, yes?" She asked.

"Honey, that's across town, an hour's drive." He complained, but both mom and I knew he was going to do it anyways.

"Please, I'm craving it and we need it to chat, right Ayva?" She called out.

"Yes," I agreed, biting my tongue to not cry out.

"Oh, fine. I'll be back." My dad surrendered and I heard him grab the car keys before the front door opened and shut.

I heard my mom's feet shuffling over and she sat beside me on the empty stool. "What happened, sweetheart?" She asked softly, and I turned towards her.

"I fell in love, mom, I fell so hard." I cried out, looking down and covering my face with my hands. "I'm so fucking stupid." I cursed out while feeling my mom stand up beside me and wrap her arms around my shoulder.

"Oh, Ayva, it's okay, darling, we all do it, and I know it hurts, baby, I know." She caressed my hair, rubbing my back gently. "He doesn't feel the same way?" She asked tenderly and I shook my head through the sobbing mess that I was. "It's alright, honey, it's his loss, he'll regret it, maybe not now because you look like death, but just you wait." She joked, earning a laugh from me, and I pulled away, smiling as her eyes twinkled with laughter.

"I do look like crap, don't I?" I sniffed, wiping my tears.

"Just a little bit." She smiled, rubbing my back slightly. "But what else happened, Ayva, I know you and you're not one to cry over a guy."

I looked down at my hands, I knew she wouldn't miss any details. "I, mom, I promise that if I had known, I would've been so much more careful, I would tried harder, I-"

"What happened, Ayva, you're scaring me." She frowned, her eyes crinkling with worry.

"I had a miscarriage." I let out as my mom's eyes widened.

"Oh, sweetheart, how? Why? Wait, when? You were only gone for five months!" She stammered and I nodded.

"We weren't careful and I didn't know so I didn't take care of myself, and I lost it." I lamented, "but mom, I promise you that if I had known, I would've taken care of it, I would've loved it and I would've given up my life for him or her, and I-"

"I know sweetie, I know." She hushed my blubbering and rubbed my back again. "We can't prevent these things sometimes, and as much as we think of everything we could've done better, it's not going to bring back the baby or help us feel better." She consoled me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear.

"One month, I was pregnant for a month, and I couldn't even tell." I cried, thinking about a baby bump that I could've had for three months now.

"I know, but it's not your fault, these things happen for a reason, God knows what he's doing, okay?" She convinced and I nodded, knowing what she said was true.

If that baby was still here, he or she would've been born without a father, and while I knew that I could give my child enough love that they wouldn't need one, I also knew that a father figure would be needed in that baby's life, and with Vescovi always being gone, and with all of the dangers that being there had, I knew that it was probably for the best that it wasn't born.

I did want a baby, but I wanted one in a loved marriage, in one where both partners were there and loved each other. Vescovi didn't love me, we weren't married, and he was never there. It was a tragedy that it didn't work out, but I would move on, if not for me, than for my baby's non-existent life.