Beauty And The Arrogant (Lesbian Story) •

If you die, I die

Grey's P.O.V

Her grip on my hand became more tighter as the clock ticked by. We were in my doctors waiting room. These past few weeks has been--well it hasn't been enjoyable and I hate the fact that part of why it ain't enjoyable is because of me.

She needed time, but then she didn't need time because whenever she would pull herself away to process everything, she would come right back to me asking me if I needed this or that or if I was feeling any pain. All I could do was to just comfort her, hold her in my arms even though she wanted to be the holder.

For some strange reason, after telling her the truth, I wasn't worried about what state I am in, or if I was going to die. All that I'm worried about is her. After I had told Rachael, I couldn't hide it from anyone anymore basically and that is why two of my siblings and my best friend Mario were waiting outside.

I looked at Rachael and just gazed at her, "my Blondie" I whispered lowly my voice in complete awe at what I was looking at. I mentally winced though because she turned to look at me and two silent tear drops came from her two beautiful brown warm eyes that looked at me with complete sadness.

"Don't, don't do that" she whispers and I slowly lift her hand up to my lips and softly kiss the back of it. After that, it was just us waiting. Waiting for the doctor, or were we waiting for the inevitable? Which is an answer we don't know of.

The doctor came in ten minutes later "Okay so it seems that you do need to get this surgery Mrs Radford, however at the end of the day we can not force you to do it"

"Excuse me? What do you mean you can not force her? So if she doesn't want to do, that means she's basically committing suicide"

"Rach"

"No, do not Rach me" she cut me off as she then tightly held my hand and looked towards me, really looked at me. "Grey--baby why are you doing this? You have to get the tumor removed i--"

"Can we talk about this at home?" I interrupted her by softly saying and I swear when those beautiful brown eyes turned black, I had wished I had kept my mouth shut. She hadn't said a word after I had interrupted her, all she did was turn away from me, take her hands away from mine and crossed them across her chest tightly.

I slid down in my seat like a sulking child while I looked straight ahead, waiting for this meeting to be over with. It wasn't like I am stupid, I knew the precautions, no surgery, meaning I only have a limited time to live, to be with Rachael.

If I get the surgery, I have a 50% chance to live or to die and if I do live then I'd go through life without any eye sight--meaning I wouldn't wake up seeing the most beautiful sight ever or go to sleep seeing the same beautiful sight.

Rachael's P.O.V

"I--I just can't beli--"

"What if I can't see you anymore huh?" she interrupted me by saying and I nearly would have gotten into a car crash because all I wanted to do was to stop the car, grab her face and tell her that this wasn't a break up, this was actually a life or death situation.

I sigh frustrated as I continue driving but I knew that I had to have the last words, mostly my last words makes Grey think meaning makes her comes to her senses.

"You know when I asked to marry you? Well I asked you for reason Grey, I asked you because first of all, I love you with all my heart and second of all, I asked you because I plan to spend the rest of my living moments with you. Do you understand that?" I asked her and I turned to look at her briefly and the sight I saw crushed me, she was hunched over her elbows resting on her knees as she buries her face in both her hands.

"Grey bear, if you do lose your eye sight, it won't change the way I feel about you if that's whats making you hesitant. I--" I stopped talking as soon as I felt myself getting choked up again. I wanted to say that I couldn't lose her, because it'll kill me. I don't know what I'd do.

I drove for another ten or so minutes and we had finally arrived back home. Half the ride back and walking to the apartment was in silence, we of course still held hands and everything but we were silent and I didn't want to say anything else because I knew she was in her thinking stage, I just hope my words had given her some kind of hope that this surgery was the better way to go and that my love was infinite.

When we had gotten into the apartment, I softly but sadly smiled as I heard Bear's happy bark and then saw him happily walking around the corner. I got on my knees and he immediately came in between my opened arms and nuzzles his nose against my shoulder.

I gently kisses the side of his jaw before whispering, "go and convince your other mother to think rationally and agree with me". It was as if he had understood me because he gave me a lick on my cheek before walked over to Grey whom had just walked into our bedroom. I slowly stood up and leaned against the wall as I watched her.

She had sat down on the bed and Bear followed suit with him jumping onto the bed and laying next do her with his head in her lap. I knew this was hard and--okay no fuck that was my final thought and the anger and sadness had overcame me because I had walked over to our opened bedroom door with a fierceness I never thought I had.

I walked through our bedroom and over to her, I gently cradled her face and I could already feel the tears rolling down my cheek.

"You die, I die" and maybe by the tone of my voice she had looked instantly and her eyes were bloodshot red and very glossy. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at me very confused and sad. It seemed that she was at lost for words until she stood up abruptly and looked at me hurtfully.

"Why would you say that? Why would you put that image of you dying inside my mind--"

"Oh and you think that's not what you have been doing to me?" I interrupted her by saying as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"That's different and you know it" she answers back and I drop my arms from my chest as I look at her helplessly. "You're not afraid of dying but you're afraid of living?" I ask her softly before shaking my head, "That does not make sense. But think of it in this way, what if I had a brain tumor, and I didn't want to get surger--"

"I will drag your beautiful self to the doctors myself and drag you into the surgery room" she interrupted me by saying this right away and I wanted to laugh because even though this was a serious matter, she had still managed to make me want to laugh and kiss her and hold her. Without saying anything else I had walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, cooking something for us to eat.

Grey's P.O.V

The rest of the day and night, I kept thinking about what Rachael has told me. What her feelings were and what my feelings should me. Yes, if I end up being blind after this surgery, I won't be able to see the sunrise or the sunset and i won't be able to see Rachael and Bear and the rest of my family and friends.

But what's more important? Continuing to live the rest of my life out with my loved ones and being blind or ending it right then and there and having to deal with letting them all go? I thought I would have never had found the answer but once I closed my eyes, I saw a little girl, the exact replica of Rachael and I knew what I needed to do.

Chapter 53 Guys! I'm so sorry that it's shorter than usual but I think I needed to get this one out there already, I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as I can. How are you guys? I hope everyone of you are fine and doing well.