All the Light I Cannot See

Eleven

After blinking his way back into reality, Arthur couldn't believe what he saw in front of him. It was the strong oak door that led into Merlin's chambers.

Merlin's chambers? God, now I'm starting to think like a medieval king too. Bloody excellent.

He had told himself that he was going to confront the man, but when he was standing at the foot of these giant doors, Arthur had to admit that maybe this wasn't the easiest choice. It was probably the right one. But it would not be easy.

It wasn't even that Arthur thought Merlin would be too upset. After all, the news was a pretty big pill to swallow. The mind games were what were torturing him.

What if he hates me?

What if it's a trick? 

What if I'm actually crazy?

What if I'm drugged?

Is Merlin even real?

"WHO AM I?"

Arthur jumped back at the sound of his own voice echoing through the tower. Hoping to God that Merlin didn't hear that, he summoned up all his courage and knocked on the door.

--

Merlin heard the knock, but didn't have the heart to go answer it. It was probably a teacher or someone equally unimportant right now dropping off some homework for him to work on later.

Of course, since none of his books or worksheets were brailled, he would have to do it with helper anyway, so what the fuck was the point of them dropping it off? It made no damn sense to Merlin. Why not just kill two birds with one stone? Send it up with Gwaine.

Ah, Gwaine. What would he think of Merlin, sitting all alone in the dark, feeling sad. Not that it would've made a difference to him if the lights were on. It might sound a little less depressing, but that's it. Doesn't actually help to brighten his mood.

Fucking Arthur goddamn Pendragon. He got dumber this reincarnation, let me tell you that. None of the other knights and them had any downgrades. Nope. Just the one I was looking forward to seeing the most. Typical.

There was another knock, and this time Merlin just didn't give a shit. "Go away!" he yelled, waving his cane in the vague direction of the noise. "Just slip it under the door or something!"

"Please let me in, Merlin."

All of a sudden, Merlin could barely breathe. He was silent for a moment, except for a few shaky breaths. Then he asked, "Why?"

On Arthur's side of the door, it was his turn to fall quiet. "Because I think I understand now," he said slowly, scuffing his feet, "and I know what you've done."

There was a click, and the door swung open.