Be More, You!

Day 2

***Squip Narration***

The next day Michael sits awake in bed feeling frustrated and conflicted. His feelings for Jeremy were almost splayed out for the other boy to see. Michael thinks he already knows all possible outcomes for confessing to Jeremy, but- news flash- he's to scared to actually see all of the possibilities. So there he lies in bed left with only his thoughts to keep him at bay.

***Michael's P.O.V.***

I could never tell him, Jeremy, about my feelings. I know the outcome. It's just simply inevitable. He will eventually get Christine once I buy him the squip and he'll forget about Michael Mell. The guy who he shared 12 years of friendship with.

If he were to find out, I would just be dubbed as some gay kid he rejected and avoided. I can't have that. I would much rather be just his friend as long as he sticks around. If he were to wish for something more from our friendship, then I would surely give it to him, but I can tell Jeremy doesn't like me like that. I love him. I fucking hate loving him.

It's still the weekend, so I call Jeremy over. We sit and play video games as usual. This time we decide to mix it up a bit by watching a classic movie. Weird Science. It's one of our favorites just for the sheer wackiness and the happy ending where the guys get their girls. Another one of my favorites is 16 Candles, but I hide that from Jeremy for various reasons.

During the movie, I lay my hand on the space in between Jeremy and I in a futile attempt to get him to hold it. Or to really just show that it's open and available. I know it won't work, but one can hope. I continue with my attempt when I feel something brush my hand. It's Jeremy's hand. It's laying on my hand and it's like he isn't noticing at all.

I just keep my hand there hoping that this moment will last for the rest of the movie at the very least. It's not holding hands, but it's definitely the closest I'll ever get to it with Jeremy. After the movie ends he gets up and I can feel the loss of his hand immediately. Both physically and emotionally.

"Why are you frowning? I usually see you smiling at the end," Jeremy comments.

"No reason," I say.

He looks at me suspiciously but then he looks away. I wonder why he's worrying about me so much. Tomorrow we have school again, 5 days from now I'll get him the squip. Jeremy's dad calls so now it's time for him to go home. Yet again I'm left with only my thoughts. 5 days from now I'll get him the squip. 5 days from now Jeremy will smile and thank me. 5 days from now I'll be selling my friendship for a pill. He deserves it more than anyone. To be cool and have happiness with Christine.

He deserves so much more than what he has. He deserves more than me. In 5 days...I feel like I should do something more that day, but something more for myself. I close my eyes and let my mind wander. What would I like to do? I play through the scenario. I go to the Payless where Rich works, I pay the listed price, I drive back, call Jeremy over, and then I give it to him, he smiles and thanks me, and then I tell him. My feelings. Wait, that's it! Since Jeremy will be cool after this he probably won't have much time for me, so what do I have to lose?

---End of Day 2---

{5 days left}

A/N: It's short, but it's only day two. Day three is gonna be pretty long so be prepared I guess.