Krasivaya

Part 4

This was a horrible idea.

You knew agreeing to pretend to date Steve wasn't your finest moment, but you were stuck now. It reeked of desperation. Every time someone looked at your intertwined fingers, you felt that they could see right through the farce. It was a cluster fuck of epic proportions.

Steve was sickeningly affectionate, nipping at your neck, pressing kisses to your lips whenever Bucky was in the same room as you. He'd been uncharacteristically distant the last few days, leaving the room with a dark scowl on his face whenever you and Steve got 'cosy'. Melissa had shown up more frequently, displays of affection turning more and more sexual between the two.

It made you sick, made you feel worthless and ugly every time he growled naughty suggestions in her ear, and her shrill giggle pierced the air.

Walking hand-in-hand with Steve to the weekly movie night, lost in deep thought, Steve stops short. Melissa and Bucky are curled tightly around each other, the former giggling at something he said.

"You up for this doll?" Steve whispers, concern etched on his face.

Squaring your shoulders, you nod once. Gritting your teeth you reply, "Feel like turning it up a notch?"

His eyebrows raise in surprise before he breaks out into a sexy smirk.

If you were a lesser woman you would be a puddle on the floor.

He leans down close to you, breath fanning across your face. "Let's give em hell, darlin'," he practically growls.

Pushing aside the jealousy, you plaster on the best smile you can. Wrapping an arm around Steve's waist, his hand resting casually on your firm backside, you stride into the room together.

Steve squeezes the firm muscle hard as you move in front of Bucky.

You let out a startled squeak before breaking out in a fit of giggles. "Behave, soldier," you stage whisper.

He grins crookedly, pulling you into his chest. Both hands now rests on your backside. "You know I can't keep my hands off of ya, darlin'," he murmurs as he nips at your neck. Peppering kissing along your jaw, he captures your lips in a passionate kiss.

Your hands instinctively fly to his hair, letting out a rather fake moan into his mouth.

He pulls away, chuckling darkly, "Later, baby girl."

Bucky clears his throat behind you. "Can you two quit it? We're trying to watch a movie."

Rage clear on his face, Steve regards his friend cooly. "Sorry, Buck, I can't get enough of my girl."

Gritting his teeth, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch. "That's the thing, Steve. Since when has she been anything to you other than a friend?"

Steve lets go of you abruptly, facing his friend dead on. "We've been getting closer since you and the.." he clears his throat, "Since you and Mel started dating, it escalated." he shrugs nonchalantly.

"We both know she ain't your type, Steve! What the fuck is going on!" He whirls to face you.

Your stomach drops. Of course he would think you dating a man like Steve would be implausible.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, jerk?" Steve all but roars, his anger at his best friends lack of filter rising to the surface.

You shrink into yourself, mortified by the disbelief in Bucky's voice. Ugly, you think, That's all I am ugly and worthless.

"Ya know what I mean, Steven! (Y/N) is... she's...." he struggles to find the words to describe you.

A sob makes it past your lips. "Fat?" you whisper.

Bucky's eyes snap to yours.

"Ugly?" you continue.

Bucky's mouth slack with horror. "No... I... That's not what I meant!" he tries to backpedal.

You can hear Melissa sniggering behind you.

"No, James, I get it." You take a steadying breath. "Just because you wouldn't look twice at me, Barnes, doesn't mean other men can't appreciate me for more than my appearance." Tears leak down your face.

He had hit the nail on the head.

You weren't ever going to be good enough for a man like him. Or Steve.

"Krasivaya..." he begins.

You hold up a hand to stop the half assed apology about to come from his mouth. Shutting down all emotion, you look up at him. "I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that sergeant. I am obviously not beautiful. That much you have made perfectly clear."

You feel dead inside. Emotionless. An empty void.

Turning to Steve, you grab onto his hand trying to anchor yourself to reality.

"Take me to bed, soldier?" you ask as Bucky bares his teeth at his friend.

"Now you're talking, baby girl. I'll meet you there in five. I have a few things to discuss with, Bucky."

Nodding, you bid everyone goodnight. You haven't made it five feet beyond the door before the enraged voice of Steve Rogers reaches you.

"What the fuck was that, Barnes?" he roars.

You can hear the collective gasp of everyone in the room. The clean cut, all American soldier swearing?

It brings a tentative smile to your face.