Krasivaya

Part 15

You stare down at him in disbelief, snorting at the preposterous notion. "You don't mean that, Buck," you state firmly.

The look of surprise that crosses his face cements your conclusion.

"Then what the hell do you call what we just did?" he asks.

The pang of heartbreak filters through your chest. Your smile falters as you formulate the words. "You've been parading woman in and out of the compound for years, Buck. This isn't any different. You were merely relieved that you didn't lose a teammate." You're on your back faster than you can blink.

"You don' know what your talking about, Krasivaya," he murmurs, peppering your jaw with featherlight kisses. "I have loved you from the first minute I saw you," fingers skim up your sides, "You don' get to tell me how I feel, (Y/N), or what I feel for you," he says as he stares you in the eye. "I want you to look," he says seriously.

The request catches you off guard. You had never ventured into your teammates minds, the act feeling foul and tainted every time you thought of it. You stare at him questioningly.

Bucky was fiercely protective of his thoughts, sharing nothing of the innermost working of his mind, not even with Steve.

"Bucky..I don't.."

He places a long slender finger on your lips. "I want you to. I can't manipulate memory, or what I feel the way you can. So, whatever you find you'll have ta believe, righ'?"

The hope in his voice has you caving. You nod once and gently brush the hair that's hanging in his face behind his ears. Placing one finger on each side of his head, you take a deep breath and push past his defenses.

The rush of emotions has you gasping, memory after memory flying across your inner eye. You reading a book in a corner smiling softly at something on the page. You laughing with Steve and Natasha during the annual snowball fight. You with your arms wrapped around Bucky after a bad nightmare. Every memory is accompanied with a rush of love so strong it has tears forming in your eyes.

You pull away from him to find him watching you closely, a look of pure adoration on his face.

He smiles beatifically, "It's always been you. Only you."

"You never told me, Buck. You didn't say a word."

He snorts out a laugh, eyeing you seriously. "What was I supposed to say, doll? Was I supposed to come right out and say it? As broken and fucked up as I was? I couldn't do that, not ta ya. You're pure, special, I couldn't taint ya," he states matter of factly.

You're in total shock, his confession simultaneously angering you and catching you unawares. "Yeah, Buck, that's exactly what you were supposed to do!" you half yell at him. "Jesus! I've been in love with you for years! Watching you parade woman after woman in front of me, knowing you could never see me as anything more than a friend!" Tears are leaking from the corner of your eyes. "So much time wasted, so many hurt feelings, I can't..." Chest heaving, you try and shove him off you, accomplishing nothing in your effort to dislodge him. "Why now?" you ask, refusing to look him in the eye.

"I watched you die. For me," is his simple answer. "You died without knowing how much I love you, how much you mean to those around you. How beautiful, how smart you are." He pins your struggling arms above your head, cutting off your attempts to escape him. "How I wouldn't be able to function with you gone. How there would be no color left in my life." He gently touches his lips to yours. "I know I ain't the best at expressing myself doll, I've never really had ta talk, ya know? I know I fucked up. Badly. But I wanna make it up ta ya. I wanna show ya how loved you are, how....." he stops mid sentence looking for the right words, "I want ya ta know... you're enough."

The words sending a fresh wave of tears down your face. Hiccuping pitifully as the words you've been waiting to hear for so long from another person are finally said.

"I want ya ta know that you've always been enough. For me, for the team, and if ya will let me, doll, I'll spend the rest of my life showing you exactly how much I love ya, want ya, and need ya. Please let me try?" He's pleading with you, you know he is. The tough and mean winter soldier is pleading with you to give him a chance. The man you love seems to return the feelings you have for him.

You let a tentative smile form on your lips, eyes sparkling like jewels in the dim light. You nod once.

Bucky grins wolfishly as he captures your lips in a joyful, passionate kiss. "Bout damn time, thought I was gonna have ta wait for you forever!"