Why Do You Care? (Flowerfell Poth)

sweet escape

Fell!goth's POV

The time slowly ticked. Counting every second that I haven't tried to kill myself. I'm even surprised that i'm still alive. I sat in the tub, still crying my eyes out. The light flickered quickly, changing from light to darkness in mere seconds. I heard the snores of my father in the living room, followed by similar snores of my mother.
It was the middle of the day and their sleeping, at least I get a chance to go to my room. I stand from the tub and step out. The floor was glossy, the mirror had cracks all over it and the shower curtain was hanging by two rings.
I had to clean the bathroom floor so...that's the only good part of the bathroom. There was so many memories of myself cutting my arms and legs then giving choked confessions to the echoey bathroom. It seemed that this room was the only thing I could feel safe in.
I open the door, thick air flooding in. I walk out onto the black and white tiled floor of the kitchen. The snores of my parents got louder as I neared them. I peeked from the kitchen entrance and see my parents hugging each other in their sleep. Great.
I only wish I could be treated better. I start to walk into the room. The snores making me more paranoid than ever. I walk past them and take a step into the hallway when it creaked. My breath hitched and snapped my head towards my parents. My mother stirred but still snuggled into my father's chest.
My father was passed out, drunk. He wasn't waking up for a few hours so all I had to worry about was my mother. I took another step into the hallway, being more careful about the dark wood boards underneath me. I stepped onto a board a couple minutes later, so close to my room. It creaked loudly as it echoed throughout the house. I stiffened and slowly looked behind me.
The sound of someone getting off some springs could be heard. I silently cursed at myself. The end of the hallway soon revealed my mother with a displeased look. I gulped and sprinted to my room. I slammed the door open as my mother came running down the hallway.
He made it halfway before I slammed the door and locked it. Right afterwards, he banged on the door. "Let me in you worthless sh*t! You can't get off that easy!" he demanded. Tears fell down my face softly as I slid down the door with my back pressed against it. The vibrations hitting me hard in the shoulder blades and upper spine.
I curled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I bowed my head and sniffle while my tears fall silently to the ground. The banging continued for minutes on end until after about 20 minutes, he stopped. The sound of footsteps leaving the door were heard.
I took the chance. I jump to my feet and run towards an old school bag of mine under the bed while the last of my tears fall and some dry. The bag was black with red lining along the edges and leather drawstrings. The top was dark brown leather that buttoned to the body of the bag.
I actually kinda liked school. Too bad i'm nineteen now. I tried moving out a long time ago but my parents took the money I saved up through the long years. I force the bag out from under the bed and set it on the blanket.
It made a thud, convincing me something was inside it. I stuff my hand inside and grab the oddly shaped object. After I pull it out, I notice that it was a rock with a note tied to it. Then I remembered the guy that threw this at me on the last day of highschool. I didn't mind opening it since I pretty much knew it was something hateful but.....i'm now curious.
I slowly undid the knot that held the letter. The weird thing is that the guy who threw this was going to a military camp and he was the school bully. I drop the heavy rock onto the bed, making it sink in and almost get engulfed by the cushion.
The paper was worn out and torn on some sides. It had terrible handwriting on the top that said from: f.p. I didn't bother trying to figure out his name and unfolded the paper. Terrible cursive was all over the page....

Fell!goth. I wanted to talk to you more but.....since you're a grade above me, I couldn't exactly speak to you next year. Listen, you ever tell anyone about this letter, I will find you and kill you......I just want to be sincere for once. I'm sorry.

Was he kidding! No way. I covered my mouth to stop the sound of my gasp. Tears swelled up again, threatening to fall. I close my eyes and tried remembering him. I was younger than him but had a higher grade level. He was tall and broad shouldered. He never took off his hat and would beat up other kids for his own fun.
I choked down the feeling of crying and stuffed the note into my bag. It'll help...a lot. It has been about three years since I saw him last. I start to gather things around my room that I think I would need to survive but couldn't grab food, weapons or money.
I take off my cloak after my scarf and replace it with a similar jacket. I wrap the scarf around my neck and cover the bottom half of my face. Then I stuff my cloak into my bag. When I lifted the bag from the ground, it felt heavy. I put it on my shoulders and grab my only blanket in the cold- warm room. I knotted it multiple times and throw the end of it out the window.
It landed near the top of the hill. My parents decided to live on the edge of a hill if you were asking. I start to climb down after tying a knot on the window lock. My new beginning.......