Circumlocution ≫ Jarchie

[Chapter Three]

Trigger warning; reference to self harm, bad thoughts.
Present

"I think I'm going to be sick." Jughead mumbles, lolling his head to the side as Archie sighs.

"What were you doing at a bar anyways? you're only 19."

"What were you doing at a bar anyways? You're only 19." Jughead shoots back, eyes full of venom as he directs his attention to Archie who rolls his eyes, because the raven haired beauty had a point.

"I was there with some friends, didn't have a drink."

"Figures. Mister Student Athlete wouldn't dare do unethical things such as drugs and alcohol, but other things aren't off limits apparently." Jughead scoffs, turning his attention back to the blurring scenery outside the car window.

"You're still not over it, I see." Archie mumbles.

"You say it like I have no reason to be upset. You say it like you didn't scar me." The drunk teen spits back.

Archie starts to frown, looking down at Jughead's arms lying lazily in his lap.

"Do you still-" Archie asks softly.

"Yeah." Jughead mumbles, self consciously pulling down the sleeves of his hoodie. "Shouldn't you be focused on the road?"He fires back.

"I was just hoping that you got better."

"Yeah, well, you made sure there was no chance of that happening, didn't you?" Jughead laughs, almost finding the whole thing humorous.

There's nothing funny about the situation at all. The red head broke his heart, he broke his soul. Jughead is not even sure why he's still walking and breathing right now. Maybe he thinks he deserves to torture himself by not ending it.

Maybe the alcohol, and the drugs, and the endless cuts on his wrists are the revenge he thinks he deserves for being alive in the first place.

The revenge for living when he never asked to be the one to survive.

Archie furrows his eyebrows before huffing and turning on his blinker, pulling over into the side of the busy highway.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Jughead practically yells, a frown set on his face.

"We're not moving this car until you stop this nonsense. We're not moving until you forgive me."

"Fat chance pal." The drunken boy snorts before attempting to open the car door, only for the redhead to lock it quickly.

"This is kidnapping!"

"You're not a minor, so no it isn't." Archie points out, causing Jughead to cross his arms over his chest and sink into his seat.

"I'm sorry okay, can't you just forgive me and move on?"

"How do you expect me to move on from what you did?"

"I cheated, I didn't fúcking kill someone." Archie yells, pounding his fist on the horn which causes Jughead to flinch and shrink lower into his seat.

"I'm sorry." Jughead whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut and shrinking into himself more. It's a habit, a defense mechanism, and when Archie sees his reaction, guilt immediately fills his eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad like that." The redhead apologizes softly, placing his hand softly on the drunken boy's knee. It was trick Archie had learned calmed him down back when they were dating. He knows all about the boy's abusive past.

Jughead slowly opens his eyes, relaxing into the redhead's touch. He missed it so much, he missed how warm it felt when his hand caressed him, he forgot how safe it felt.

It needed to stop.

Jughead takes Archie's hand off of his knee, deciding to stare aimlessly at the dashboard of the car.

"Please let me go Archie."

"We barely covered any distance, you're so far from home."

"Like I said before, never found a home since you left."

"Fine, you're far from your apartment."

"Then let me just get some air."

"You'll leave, I know you'll leave."

"I wish I would've known you were going to leave."

A silence fills the car.

"You know, it's not even the fact that you cheated. I can understand why. I was never really worth your attention." Jughead begins.

"Jughead That's-"

"It's not even that you left. I know I had nothing going for me that would've made you want to stay."

"That's a-"

"It's the fact that you didn't even say goodbye. It's the fact that you didn't tell me about your scholarship at a fancy school in England. It's the fact that the guy you cheated on me with was the last person you saw before you left. It's the fact that you left me a mess, and you knew exactly what you were doing."

"I didn't know what I was doing."

"But you did. You knew how attached I was to you. You knew that I was hanging by a thread, and that you were one of the only things I had left. It's the fact that you promised to do something for me that day, but instead you blew me off because you were cheating. The day you left, my world changed. Nothing will ever be the same, and you don't even know why. You don't know what happened after you left Archie, because you were in England. You were too busy blocking my calls, and at this point I don't think you even deserve to know what you did. Or maybe I should say, what you didn't do."

Archie remains silent, looking down at the steering wheel.

"You still think that all this time I'm still mad at you because you cheated, and because you left? I'm hurt about that. I'm heartbroken. I was head over heels in love with you Archie. But obviously you didn't feel the same. Maybe I was just a pity case, and maybe you cheated on me plenty of other times before the last day you were here."

"Stop." Archie whispers brokenly.

"I can't say I'm surprised, I would do the same to me too. Maybe I deserved it. I can forgive you for that. I already have. But I can't forgive you for what happened after you got on your plane and left Riverdale without a care in the world." Jughead finishes softly before leaning over Archie and pressing the unlock button.

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