I Had A Little Help

1. A New Semester

Carter Henderson was not my ideal guy. I didn't really have much of an ideal, I didn't even want a relationship at all in high school. I was so set on staying single and focusing on my grades, and I believed I'd be happiest left alone... or so I thought. I guess you can't always plan for everything, because I had my heart stolen before I was even aware it was happening. Let me set the scene for you.

A shy and typically cold shouldered girl who just entered high school with zero friends to speak of is forced to work in a group of grade elevens who are all well acquainted with each other. This project is suppose to be presented to the whole class, and the group of grade elevens decide that they're all going to wing it and are unaware that this shy girl really can't deal with that. So, the shy girl becomes incredibly anxious up there and is unable to speak a word to the class, even if she knows a bunch about history and adores the course. However, a saviour appears and starts asking her questions in order to get her talking. And this saviour just so happens to have remarkable green eyes and soft brown hair, a studious grin and charming features. He speaks to her calmly, and not as if she's a young incapable child, but just like anybody else. With that extra help, the shy girl actually performs flawlessly and receives a good grade on a project she would have flunked otherwise. You get the picture.

It was hard for me not to start admiring Carter. I might have been able to get by just fine if he didn't interact with me again throughout the course. He already had my attention with that friendly assist, but getting to know him better only made me feel more and more like a goner. He's student council president, and leads majority of the classes with extremely high grades. He takes things like advanced physics and calculus, subjects I can only take in basic form. But he's not arrogant because he's so intelligent, instead he's beyond friendly and is a naturally generous warm hearted person. Somehow I found all the words he spoke getting tangled in my head and I held on to all of those syllables like they were poetry. The boy had me at his fingertips and didn't even know it.

But... there was a drawback to it all, as there always is. He had a girlfriend. An incredibly gorgeous girlfriend who was a complete sweetheart named Harper. Part of me wishes she was a bitch so I could speak ill of her, but the other part of me knows that Carter would never date a girl like that. I can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at her, that look of utter adoration and sentimentality. He loves her, truly. And it is a bit upsetting, but I'm glad he's not the type of guy who'll just date any girl because she's good looking, then throw her away like trash. No, he's serious in relationships, and the fact of it makes me happy, but knowing the position is full is aggravating. I wish I could be in Harper's shoes, and be thought of as so magnificent in his eyes. To be held in his memory as the girl who brings meaning to his life just as she is. But I'm not. That will never be me. I'm just a plain looking girl full of unrequited love, who doesn't deserve him. Unlike Carter and Harper, I am a no one who doesn't own any real great impact on anyone's life. I'm nothing.

It's fine, really, I'm used to it. I have been that invisible girl since elementary school, and I don't expect anything different. People only know my name from attendance lists and they pay me no heed. I'm just like the background character to everyone else's high school soap opera. I look like an extra, and feel just like one as well. That's who I've always been.

I thought I'd come to terms with it all, and I thought I accepted that I wasn't going to ever be Carter's love. But, maybe that was because I could still spend time with him and talk to him in history class everyday. That was all ending now, and I could feel my heart shattering. The first semester of my grade ten year was finally over after exams, and the second semester would roll in with new classes to greet me after the weekend. My seat next to Carter would no longer be there, and I had no hope of seeing him in any other classes because I only did take two grade eleven level courses. Yep, I took two courses in the year above me. History and Bio. But, since Carter would be taking advanced Biology, there was no chance of it. So, it was hopeless. He'd be gone from my life just like that. As quick as snapping your fingers.