BANGERZ (2014)

10. Open Book

"Ow!" I cry out.

A sharp pain stings my... elbows? What the hell? I open my eyes and look around, panicking and utterly terrified. I'm no longer in the alleyway - there's no gun pointed at me. My hand reaches up to feel my neck - no one's clutching me by the throat. I glance down at my feet - they're bare and unharmed. I'm lying on the floor of my bedroom, right beside my bed. Pale-blue dawn light seeps into the space through the drapes over my window.

After a very long and downright perplexed minute, it hits me: I was dreaming! Oh my God. I. Was. Dreaming. I must've been so frightened that I fell out of bed and smacked down on the floor. My elbows absorbed the impact, which explains why they hurt.

Wait a minute. If I was dreaming, that means I fell asleep. No! I'm getting careless. I can't let that happen anymore. I can't afford to sleep because I have fucked-up nightmares like that. That was a dream within a dream or something. No - I just swore that I woke up within it, when Peter called me to come into work. But I was actually asleep the entire time. That explains why everything looked so hazy.

But my fear and shock aren't hazy. I feel them lancing through me right now, as real as I did when my parents died. Being alone and helpless, having a gun pointed at me, getting shot - that was worse than any nightmare I've had thus far.

Weakly, I push myself upright and curl up, hugging my knees to my chest. Oh my God, I think I'm shaking. It felt so real, so horrible, so scary. I run my hand down my face and it comes back wet. I'm crying and I'm only now realizing. Tears stream down my face as I try to regain my grip on reality.

My phone rings from my bedside table. It startles me, and somehow I summon up enough energy to reach up and answer.

"H-Hello?" I say shakily, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"It's me," Jason McCann replies on the other end. He pauses for only a second. "You okay, baby girl?"

An obscure feeling lurches within me, and I think I cry harder. Shit, I'm a mess. "No. I don't know," I manage to answer, my voice sounding choked.

"What's the matter?" He sounds like his normal, nonchalant self, but something in his voice tells me that he cares, and I'm floored - literally. He has shown his concern for me, but I've never heard it.

I take a deep breath. "I had a really bad nightmare."

"You actually went to sleep?"

"Didn't mean to."

"You sound really scared, TK. Didn't I tell you not to be afraid?" I can imagine him smirking and raising an eyebrow, gazing at me with his sweet but scandalous honey eyes. I want to see his face.

"Yes," I confirm, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the edge of my bed. "But you don't know what I'm afraid of."

"What happened in your nightmare?" he asks. But then, before I can even struggle to reply, he says, "You know what? Tell me later. I'll give you a ride. Be ready in half an hour."

He hangs up without another word, and I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it for a few moments, dumbstruck. It's time for school already? How long was I asleep last night, or this morning? When exactly did I doze off? How did I plan on getting ready for school if I didn't even know I wasn't awake? I've lost all concept of time.

Which is why I waste five minutes slumped on the floor before remembering that today's my first day as part of the Bizzle Gang, officially. Shit! I have to get ready! I scramble around, grabbing the outfit Miley and I picked out yesterday, and stumble into the bathroom.