BANGERZ (2014)

19. Guns 'n Roses

I think I lose my balance and stumble over, landing hard on my tailbone. Or Jason reaches behind him and gives me a little push so I'm out of aim. Or I fall back and let Za and Khalil block Miley and me as they move to either side of Jason, solid and supportive like columns.

I don't know which is the reason why I collapse and lose most of the feeling and control in my limbs, or if it's a combination of all three. But I do know that pure terror and trauma seize my body and almost stop my heart. This most certainly is not a dream. It's not even my worst nightmare. What's happening right now is real, true life.

Jason throws Quavo out of his grasp and slowly rises to his feet, keeping his eyes on Adrian and the gun.

"Remember when you asked me if I thought y'all were stupid?" he wonders in a tone dripping with cold sarcasm and fury. "My answer is yes."

Adrian sneers and closes his other hand around the barrel. His finger rests above the trigger, but I notice that it's shaking. I notice because I'm staring at him and praying with my heart and soul that he doesn't pull it. And he's shaking because shooting someone requires skill and merciless ambition, which I don't think the Wreckers have. But apparently they are desperate.

Quavo scrambles to his feet quickly, rubbing his neck as he joins the formation of Wreckers. Beside Adrian they're standing with threatening, indifferent expressions, like they're waiting for something to happen, and ready for it - except Nina, who looks very uncomfortable. Actually, we're sort of mirroring each other: our crews are ready and willing in this dangerous situation, and the two of us are fading into the background, only able to watch.

"You got a gun pointed at you and you still wanna talk shit?" Quavo muses. "No one can ever say you didn't provoke us. The trigger works both ways. Your mouth - " he jabs a finger at Jason " - and this one." He jerks a thumb at the hole of the gun. "Keep shooting off and we'll do the same."

"You're gonna shoot me 'cause you don't like what I'm saying?" Jason asks, almost in disbelief. "Good luck explaining that to the cops. Then again, you could probably plead insanity."

"Adrian," Quavo says importantly, nodding his head at him but keeping his menacing gaze on Jason. His messenger takes several steps forward, aiming the gun straight at Jason's face. Another clicking sound fills the tense silence.

"That was the safety," Adrian tells Jason savagely. "Next I pull the trigger and shut you up for good."

"First of all, you're holding it wrong," Jason points out, and I think I stop breathing as he straightens the gun in Adrian's hand so that it's aimed in the middle of his forehead. It's both scary and stunning how unfazed he is at all this. Is he even afraid? If he is, is he just not showing it? Has his life around guns prepared him for something like this? How is he not cowering in fear or at least flinching? He's barely blinked.

"And second, you're bluffing."

"If you think that I won't shoot you point-blank then you're wrong."

"In front of all these people?" Za says doubtfully, gesturing to the eyewitnesses above. They're watching us with wide eyes and open mouths.

"In a public skate park?" Khalil adds. He raises his eyebrows and glances around to emphasize this.

Miley moves to Za's side, only slightly timid. She raises her chin. "In a clean street fight?" she asks, her voice low and even.

I wish I could put in my own observation and help back up my crew, but I'm stuck in my state of fear and shock.

"Nah, you're not gonna shoot me," Jason declares with finality, taking a step forward so that the gun presses against his forehead harder and Adrian is forced to take a step back. "You didn't plan this out or think of enough consequences to actually go through with it. You just wanted to make a point. Am I right?"