Tales From Oblivion: Winfred SharkMan

The Voices

AN: A huge thank you to @tremendouslyhaunted for helping out with this story! Most of this is based on an actual play session we had together while playing Oblivion a long time ago so she's a rather sizeable part of the reason why this exists lol She also wrote the summary because I suck at summaries and she helped me design the cover XD

Hysterical laughter bombarded Winfred's ears and he jumped to his feet in an effort to find the culprits. It sounded like two adolescent girls, but the only other living thing around was a fully grown Dark Elf with a mean smile in the cell across the hall. And he stood silent and still as anything.

"Winfred SharkMan!" one of the two voices managed to say before cracking up again.

"I knew his nose was going to be enormous but oh my god his nose!" the other wheezed as she spoke. Winfred grew increasingly frustrated, wondering if this was some sort of immensely annoying spell. The Dark Elf started to speak but the girls, who he concluded only existed in his mind, effectively deafened him.

"Kelsey wait, the guy in the other cell is saying something." Winfred felt a sudden surge of gratitude towards the first voice. He sighed and took a seat at the small wooden table by the left wall as the second voice, Kelsey, made a short dismissive noise.

"Nah, he's just making fun of us and telling us we're going to die down here."

"You're going to die down here!" the Dark Elf mocked, as if on cue.

"See?" Kelsey said, sounding a little too pleased with herself. Winfred froze when the sound of approaching footsteps echoed through the dimly lit dungeon corridors. The Dark Elf resumed his taunts but Winfred was rather preoccupied at that moment. Kelsey explained to the other voice, who she called Selena, that this was the 'main quest' which was, in her words, 'boring.'

"What is a prisoner doing here? This cell is supposed to be off limits!" Winfred jumped up from his spot at the table and looked at the entrance to his cell with wide brown eyes. A small group of imperial soldiers and the emperor himself stood on the other side of the rusty bars, watching his every move. All of them ended up staring at his nose at one point or another.

Kelsey quickly guided him through a conversation with the emperor, who had apparently seen Winfred in his dreams, with practiced ease. A female soldier opened a secret passageway in the cell and Winfred couldn't stop himself from giving the Dark Elf, who had fallen silent, a smug look.

"You're going to die in here!" Kelsey mocked, laughing too much to imitate the Dark Elf's intimidating growl.

"Can we go over there and punch him in the face?" Winfred arched an eyebrow at Selena's question, finally allowing his shoulders to relax.

"I don't know, actually. I've never tried. Probably not. There's a mission later where you get to kill him, but that isn't for quite a while." Winfred wandered over to the cell door and looked closely at the lock. "Yeah, this lock requires a key."

"Maybe you can pick it or something?" Winfred backed away from the cell door after a moment and picked up the ceramic cup on the table.

"I don't have any lock picks. I can't pick a lock without any lock picks, Selena." He gave the cup an appraising look before storing it for safe keeping.

"Wait, did Winfred just steal a cup?" He flinched at the sudden acknowledgement and Kelsey snorted.

"Oh my god, he totally did! A man after my own heart!" Winfred couldn't decide if he should feel proud or not, so he settled on feeling confused. "Don't worry, we'll sell it later."

"Isn't that what you said almost immediately before you ended up with your entire inventory full of random guns?" Kelsey spluttered for a moment before she relented.

"Well... yeah... But guns are useful! Random prison cups are not!" Winfred ignored the duo and started his trek through the secret exit.

"Guns are only useful if you use them, Kelsey."