Finding A Way

5

9.29.16

School,
school started again.
I'm going to another school.
We live to far from my other school.
I'm okay with that.

The first day was fine.
I don't talk all the much and the teachers get it.
I'm pretty sure they know my situation more than me.
Crazy, I know.

As the weeks of school trudged on,
the kids started getting worse.
But I can't do anything.
I don't care.
Jenny, however,
cares a bit to much.
Either way I love school.

Guess how many books I have checked out at the library!
It has only been about six weeks, if that helps?

Is that enough time, or do you need more time?
Ok, I'm writing this in your past so you just could've past all this nonsense.

Ok, whatever.
I have read about thirty-six.

Hey, don't look at me like that!
I have a lot of free time.
I don't watch T.V.
I get homework done at school.

10.15.16
I think Jenny worries too much.
She seems to always look over her shoulder.
I don't know why.
I don't even know what happened to my parents?

I think I'm content.
Content with my new future.
Content with my past, I can't change it.
Content on the now.
Content with Jenny.
Content with my new room.
Content with my new life.

I'm okay with being lonely.
I'm okay with what is happening right now.
Why not be?
Me as one person can't change my life,
I can't make it worse or better,
at least that's what I think. 

Happiness seems such a rare thing.
Sadness is a promenat feeling.
And angry just builds up and up, waiting to explode.
Who knows who that will turn out?

I just have to get through a couple more years of school then I can leave.
Leave from the mess I constantly bring.
Leave from this town that wouldn't care.
I will be able to leave the problems that won't go away.

10. 20.16
Jenny likes to talk, a lot!
I wonder how she can breathe half the time.
She works as a teacher, and teaches science.
We go to the same school, but I'm in a different grade.
I don't know if I have ever mentioned my age, but I'm thirteen and in the eighth grade.
However, you probably want my name,
sorry but that's for me to know and you to find out.

10.22.16
I other in trouble today
I go really mad,
so I exploded.

I yelled,
and put a hold in the wall,
don't ask how.

Let's just say,
don't call me names that you don't want to be called,
simple yet seems so difficult.

At least she got the scare of her life,
*Smile creeps on my face*
I got mad, yelled for about twenty minutes and put a hold in the wall next to me.
I need to work that out.

10.22.16 *Later that night*
Jenny's yelling at me.
I don't know why, I told her my reason.
That girl needed to be out in her place,
so I yelled and put a hold in the wall barely missing her face.

Oh, yell I didn't tell you that part you!
Well she was next to me,
against the wall actually,
and I punched the wall next to her head,
finished with, "I never miss."

Yeah, I need to work on that.

"Jenny, she got what she needed. If I didn't do it, then she would just go in her mary way. It's not like I actually caused her physical harm."
"Doesn't matter, that was unacceptable!" She shouted.

I hate shouting.
Shouting was the worst out of anything.
Too many memories.
Hence the sudden crying.

Running,
running towards my room,
to get away.

10.23.16
Kids,
kids whispers,
kids whispers filled my school's hallways.

At least know they know,
don't mess with me or
anybody around me.

10.29.16

Self working.
Therapy for my anxiety.
Bad dreams filling my head.
I'm scared.