"You have depression?"

Thighs

my thighs are covered in scars. many shapes and sizes. my thighs are bigger than most girls. but ya know sometimes i love my thighs. they're cute, fun to grab onto. there's no stretch marks on my thighs unlike my sides. they're just something i'm learning to accept. i'm so fucking sad right now yet i find myself sitting here, liking my thighs for the moment. life is weird like that. i want to die right now but no,
i'll just focus on my cute thighs. i guess the only reason i'm writing in here right now is because i don't have anyone to talk to. i'm really missing some people i can't get back right now. that's who i really want to talk to. i dunno. i'm supposed to be happy right now. i'm going to my boys tomorrow, i get to see one of my good friends tomorrow too. it kinda hurts though. ever since loosing my best friend i haven't been able to have anyone fill in that spot. i just won't let it happen, no matter how much i want it to. i don't like my parents. they're all bad to me in different ways. they don't like my thighs. i'm called fat and ugly a lot by them. told that i'm an embarrassment for them. this is all a jumbled mess but that's okay i just want it out there i suppose. it's weird because today i first  blared music to cope. then vent drew. then took a long long walk. none of that worked. so then i cut myself,, a lot. it didn't work either. so i burned myself. yet i still can't get my mind off of things. i guess i've never really had that happen before. burning was usually the last step to being okay for the night. anyways, i'm gonna go now. i'm letting too many thoughts run around. hope you'll sleep well tonight ~A