SAUDADE || ANTOINE GRIEZMANN ✔

3. Sophie

Elena texted me that our practice with music club will be delayed for 1 hour because right now, the students from choir club used our room to practice for Christmas show next month. And I decided to continue to read the book I just borrowed from library. I steps forwards and find a good place to read. Bench in the back yard of the school building, I’ll read my book whilst waiting for music club to start.

I’m sitting on the bench and start to open my book when I heard indistinct conversation from football yard not very far from where I sat right now and suddenly I felt so stupid. Why I should choose to sit in this place?

Antoine was there, with his teammates from school football club, get some practice. How can I forget that this is very good spot if you want to stalking a boy from football club. Damn, I was so stupid, how can I forget him if I keep seeing him over and over again? It’s really hard to forget anyone you love if you even still in the same school with him, every time I saw him, I should hold myself to look strong and not so sad however deep inside, my feeling was upside down to saw him.

But right now, here I am, like an idiotic moron staring at him playing football. He’s shouting, smiling even laughing whenever he’s playing football. And I had no control about what I do afterwards, I ridiculously smile. He will always like that, always seems so happy when he’s playing football and I can’t take my eyes off him.

“Sophie, you’re here.” I saw Juan steps closer to me and I was relieved, Juan’s presence avoiding me to keep my eye on Antoine.

“What’s up? The choir club has done with their practice?” I asked, Juan also joined music club just like me.

He shakes his head. “I want to give your notebook back. Thank you so much.” Juan thrusting my chemistry notebook he borrowed yesterday, he suddenly took a seat next to me.

“Have you watched the newest Harry Potter movie?” I know Juan likes Harry Potter so much, just like me. And at this moment, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince is playing in theatre all over Spain. But I shake my head as I didn’t have good time to watch that movie yet. “Do you want to go with me this weekend?”

“Oh.” I said, bit surprise. Is Juan just asking me to go out with him? Like a date? “I’d love too, but I’m so sorry, my older brother and his fiancée will come from Liverpool and we’ll have some family dinner time together like that.” My reason is true though, because Xabi is going home and we will have a special dine in some fancy restaurant as he promised with all family.

Juan looks disappointed but he seems understood. “It’s fine, but back to Harry Potter, I really didn’t expect that Sirius Black died in the last film.”

“Yeah, and this time is Dumbledore, it really broke my heart when I….” I stopped my words after I saw Juan’s weird expression. “Wait a minute, did I just gave you a spoiler?”

“You did.” Juan answered it weakly. “I didn’t read the book yet, cause it was too close to the movie premiere. I keep that as surprise, you know?”

“Oh my God I’m so sorry.” I can’t help but laugh awkwardly. “I thought you had read the book, I’m so sorry.” I close my mouth, try to stop laughing.

Juan’s waving his hand. “It’s okay, at least I know what to do when I’m watching.”

I heard someone screaming from the football yard and I instantly stand up and turn my face to figure out what was going on. I saw Antoine fall on the ground, his face looks so painful while his hand hold his ankle. I can feel my heart beat so fast, like my heart almost jump out from it places when I saw him. What happened to him? I can’t pretend that I’m not panic when I saw his friends help him to step out from football yard to school clinic.

****

And maybe because I’m so anxious or stupid, I decided to not following music club instead I was standing in front of the school clinic, waiting for his recent condition. I know I shouldn’t be surprise when I saw him got injured like that when he played football, at least he ever been injured for once or twice. But still, deep in my heart, I can’t help but to worry about him. Right now, most of all when we’re not even in relationship anymore, I can’t be too close to him and worried about him as much as I wanted like used to be.

I try to take a peek from clinic door when suddenly 2 boys come out from the door, they’re Antoine’s friend from football club and I instantly turn my body around awkwardly as if I just accidentally crossed by clinic room, not being here because I worry about Antoine. They take a glance to me before they leave, thank God.

But it almost late now, and I really must go home. I walk to my locker and put some of my book in there when I saw Antoine’s walking limped through his locker. I saw his ankle binding with white bandage. Is his ankle broken? Or maybe just a sprain? But he looks fine. I sigh in relieved.

I can’t take my eyes off him when he got some trouble to open his locker with his condition right now. Where the hell are his friends anyway? Why there’s no one help him? Are they will let him go home by himself? With limped feet through bus stop?

Antoine drops his books when I just couldn’t stare him any longer, I steps myself closer and take his books, put them to his locker, locked it and hand the key to him. I know he’s staring at me since couple time ago but I insisted to look didn’t care about him.

“Thank you.” He said and I just nod as the answer.  I almost turn my body around when he slowly walking, still limped. I take my deep breath and scream to myself. You’ll regret what you’re doing Sophie.

I turn around again, put his arm around my shoulder and help him to walk out from school.