The Same Mistake Done Twice

~Self lied~

Seventh grade had already started
It was going well
But like I said
I had developed two other crushes
Though I lost the feeling soon after a couple months

Reasons?
Well one was that I was not as close to one of them
He was in my grade as well
And the other was that I didn't know the other one at all

But as soon as I lost feelings for..
Well let's call him John for short
After I lost them for John
My eyes caught another person
And it was...well you

I know I told myself that I wouldn't get close to you
That I wouldn't talk to you
That I wouldn't catch feelings for you at all
But I lied to myself

You changed
And I don't know what I saw in you to make me catch feelings
It was complicated though
I thought I still liked John
But then I started to have feelings for you

I was stuck
I was confused
I over thought about it
About who I actually liked
I lost some hours of sleep

It took me about a good week or two
To figure out who I really liked
And I came to conclusion that it was you
You were the guy I liked

I knew this because I was constantly talking about you
And not John
I talked like I was dreamy almost
I had a couple dreams about you here and there

We always made eye contact
I knew I was staring at you
But I wasn't sure if you were staring back
Cause of your glasses that created a white cast against the light

But there were moments we would right into each others eyes
And look away a couple seconds later
I would usually look away first

But you know what it felt like?
What it felt like to make eye contact with you?
It felt special
It felt like I was trapped in it
Even if it was only for a couple seconds

I didn't think you'd become a major crush though
Because I remembered how I told myself I wouldn't be able to..
Like anyone for as long as years
But it was also because I didn't want to have the same feeling
The feeling of sadness to come back
If something happened

It was something that I kept to myself
This kind of thought I kept to myself
Why didn't I tell anyone?
Because I was scared they wouldn't understand
They wouldn't understand what this feeling felt like
What it was like to hold it in

Who knew how long you would've lasted as my crush
I didn't know either
I would be glad that you were my crush
Maybe not for years
Even if it was only going to be for a couple of months
I would be glad
That was my thought

Sorry guys that this part is really short. I've been going through a lot these past hours and I haven't really had the motivation to write nor have I had found a lot of the right words...but I hope you enjoyed.
*I will try to upload a new part everyday, if not then every other day, so please be patient. Thanks*

And please like and vote! I'm trying to make this story a hit.