Live Again (Camren)

Chapter 9

Camila.

That night after Lauren completely opened up to me and told me about her daughter and her death, we held each other and cried. She cried because it was painful to relive those memories and because she was just now beginning to accept the death of her child. I cried because it hurt seeing the love of my life in such pain. There was nothing I could say or do that could take any of it away. But I held her and assured her I was there for her. We both ended up falling asleep on the floor, holding each other that night.

The following day I got her cleaned up and fed, and we talked so more. This time she shared with me the happy memories she had with Kinsley. And then she asked me for some time...alone. She said she needed to be alone to clear her head and think things through about herself and how she was feeling and about us and how she felt about us. She admitted to me how hurt she was about how our relationship ended and how terrible she felt for the way she made me feel during the time we were together. She said she took her time away to be alone and reevaluate herself and came back determined to win me over but lost all that determination as soon as she stepped out the car and saw me with someone else. She said that hurt her the most...watching me with someone else.

We both took completely different approaches on how we dealt with our relationship ending. She spent her time alone and I spent it hooking up with random strangers. I couldn't fight her on her decision to be alone because I had asked her for the same thing not so long ago. Knowing Lauren never cheated on me definitely changed things for me. I wanted her back, I tried moving on and I miserably failed. Our relationship still needed some work but nothing we couldn't fix if we both wanted this. And I wanted this, I just wasn't sure if she did anymore.

When she said she wanted time alone I expected her to ignore me or avoid me for a few weeks not just completely leave to god knows where for god knows how long.

The day everything went down, everyone was shocked to see my sister attack Lauren, and confused as to what exactly was going on including my parents. So of course I was summoned to their house to explain myself. And I did, I told them the truth about what Lauren and I's relationship was really like. Me constantly assuming things and Lauren keeping secrets, me assuming she was cheating and such and then her finally revealing she had a daughter and then explaining to me what happened to her daughter. My parents went through a roller coaster of emotions that afternoon, one minute they disliked her for treating me that way, then for thinking she cheated and then they felt terrible for ever disliking her because none of it was true and felt worse when I told them about Kinsley. They might of fallen more in love with her that night. My mother said she knew Lauren would make a great mother and that now she could rest easy knowing the future kids we would have one day would have such a loving and caring mother. Then I had to explain to her that this traumatic event in Lauren's life has probably turned her away from ever wanting more children. They both seemed disappointed at hearing that they might not get any grandchildren from us, then they were even more disappointed when I told them we weren't even back together and that Lauren was the one that asked for some distance this time.

Sofia was probably taking things the hardest. She felt absolutely horrible about how she reacted that day and about all those things she said to her. Not only was she already suffering with the guilt she was also in deep shit with Daniel who was mad at her and giving her the silent treatment and with my parents who had grounder her for attacking someone and Lauren of all people.

I was grateful summer break was coming to an end because it helped keep me busy and kept me from thinking of her all day long. It was my last year of Grad school and it was also my turn to go solo. This year I wouldn't be able to rely on normani for the class lectures because I'd be creating and teaching my own classes. It wasn't creative writing anymore, instead it was a basic English class that was required for your GE. It was supposed to be really simple, all I had to do was follow the lesson plans the booklet gave me but let's face it, teachers that go by the lesson plans have a tendency to lose the interest of students and have a higher percentage of failures in the class. Teaching was never my dream or goal in life, but in order to accomplish my dream in life, I had to make sacrifices. I wish it could be simple and easy and that money was no object so that I could just pack a bag and travel the world while writing my number one best seller romance novel. But money makes the world go round and unless I find a bag full of cash I'm stuck working an eight to five job while writing this novel on the side.