Dear Jeon Jungkook

Dear Jungkook,

for shan, have the best birthday ever i love you so much <33

Dear Jungkook,

It's stupid, that you're ignoring all my texts. All my desperate attempts to contact you- But I suppose that's what I deserve for breaking your heart.

So here I am in all my glory, to help you (or perhaps just myself) to try and get past the not so long ago past of our relationship.

How is it that when we first discovered our mutual friendships for each other, that you thought you weren't the type for relationships?

You told me that it was a habit for you to push people aside. You said leaving people behind was a casualty for you in your life, and showing emotions was harder than anything you could ever imagine for yourself. You told me "Hyung, your heart is too pure to be broken,"

Looks like the opposite seems to have happened now.

I guess your heart was the one that was shattered. Who would have ever thought?

It was always especially difficult earning it from you.

I guess I should've held on when I received it huh?

I don't think you would have woken up, knowing the stubborn sleeper you are, but it was me who ran to put this envelope in your mailbox at 2am in the morning last night, pissing off most of your neighbors.

I had been tossing and turning all last night debating between sending it to you or not, but I managed to wake up in a sweat and rushed to put this in your mailbox in my pajamas.

I know you're probably thinking that was a very me like thing to do, maybe I'll man up and send you a parcel of meat next time along with the next letter.

You never could resist meat.

I'll try my hardest to remember, but you know me and remembering things. I saw you at the grocery store wearing the friendship bracelet I had given you a while ago. I didn't call out to you cause I know the way you would ignore me, and I know I would suffer at you ignoring me. So I watched, and you don't even know how happy I was seeing you wearing it.

Or maybe I was just really happy in seeing YOU again.

But I'm assuming you forgot I was the one that gave that bracelet to you.

Please don't throw it out.

Yesterday an IU song began to play and I couldn't help but think of you. Did you know I always wanted to go to an IU concert with you?

I still hope we can though, it would make me so happy. But I do know the last thing you want right now is my happiness; I don't blame you.

Too bad our memories in general make me happy, and you can't exactly erase those.

Well maybe you can but I sure as hell know I couldn't.

I think I was seriously in love with you Jungkook.

Were you ever in love with me?

Guess I'll have to ask you to your face soon.

Sincerely,

Kim Taehyung

Jungkook's face scrunched up as he finished reading it. He didn't know what to think. What to say in general. He felt... cold. So undeniably cold, it was probably wracking his entire body in two.

Damn it Taehyung. The way he had ruined his entire life. The way he had put all the trust he could muster up and placed it in Taehyung's hand. The way that Taehyung had seemed to have held it as if it was as delicate as glass, but had wrecked it in two when he had least expected it.

Life was like that supposedly. In which heartbreak was a scheduled tragedy in everyone's span. But he wished that Tae could have just hurt him in a way he would never have expected and left it at that. Jungkook could have...eventually moved on. Let himself be broken and able to help himself up again in any way possible.

But Taehyung wasn't like that. He wouldn't leave him at all if he didn't get properly forgiven. And why wouldn't Taehyung want that? He was still in love with him.

But you don't hurt someone you love so badly it destroys your whole world. He scoffed. This wasn't exactly him. He sighed. What exactly would he reply to this? If he would to reply at all. He sighed

If he did reply, that would truly be against everything he stood for. Which is, always be the bigger person. Don't let them know they've truly hurt you. That would be the worst thing of all.

But Tae knew that he had hurt him. And that was the true horridity of it all. He kicked a table as he walked out of living room. This wasn't helping him really, locking himself in his room and letting his anger and sadness out in house.

Eventually people would come to know that he really was somewhat hurt, and the confrontation would be simply agonizing.

He let out an angered groan. Life was...true and utter shit.

He grabbed his black sweatshirt and hat, and pulled on his Beats, making sure to have the volume as loud as possible. That was the Jungkook everybody knew and appreciated. The Jungkook that wore black in spring and played his music so loud on his headphones strangers could hear, and run so fast a rush of wind would pass them.

Maybe he would run by a mutual friend of him and Taehyung. Maybe then if he would run by them and Tae asked about him, people would tell him that he seemed normal.

Now that would make Jungkook happy.

Just the thought of it gave him the power to storm outside. A bright smile on his face as he stepped outside of his door.

Damn you Jungkook, have a good fake smile for once. He scolded himself, then stretched his legs out, already preparing himself to go out.

I will never forgive you Kim Taehyung, He thought in his head. Not now, or the course of the rest of my lifetime.

He couldn't imagine the first person he had softened to. The first person he had thought "maybe love really isn't that bad," the first person he thought "I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with," would hurt him.

He had spent 19 years of his life toughening himself up, to not be heartbroken.

He had heard that everyone would get their heart broken once in their lives. From stories from adults, from movies, books, paintings, songs.

He had always been determined it not to happen to him.

But now it had.

He hated it more than he could have ever imagined. .
So no, he could never forgive Kim Taehyung, no matter how many heart felt notes he sent at 2am in the morning to him would lead.

But why did the words " Sincerely, Kim Taehyung," ring in his ears as he found his legs tumbling into a quick run as he rushed outside?