confictura

I dont want to believe it...but I dont want to deny it.

Chains attached to my arms, along with my ankles. I could only move my head side to side yet couldn't manage to say a word. I was drugged so that in a way I was paralyzed yet can still move my head. I feel the energy pushing my hands to lift up but I can't.
"No, no, no"
I glance to my left and see him, his fingers vigorously scratching the sides of his head as he walked back and forth.
"I told you not to wake up. I told you not to wake up."
he began repeating that sentence louder and louder until he immediately stopped when he saw the fear in my eyes. He smiled and sat down, then petted my face while pushing the strands of hair out of my face.
"It's okay, Candy, i'm a doctor. i'm going to give you something that will help you."
he turned my arm so that my vein clearly showed. He pulled out a needle filled with a purple liquid in it. The doctor held my wrist down hard to the bed, it felt like my blood circulation had been cut off. My heart was beating fast and Tears fell out of my eyes. I didn't want this.
'I don't want this..
I don't want this..
I don't want this..'
my hand formed a fist and little by little that fist became stronger and I could feel myself moving again.
I just had to keep pushing.
Pushing myself before that needle pierces a hole in my skin.
"I said I'm a doctor. I'm going to help you Candy let me help you"
my mouth slowly opened up but only a centimeter, "I'm..."
PUSH
"Not... Ca-"
"NO" He screamed, his grip on my wrist got stronger as it felt like my hand was going to come off.
"Candy"
"I am not Candy!"
My body became stronger and stronger and my senses came back I pushed myself forward and broke the chains off my wrists. I smiled in victory and wiped my tears off my cheeks.
Only, the doctor was no longer there. he wasn't next to me, behind me, no where.
Wait.
there's no chains.
I'm in bed.
I was surrounded by red walls and posters.
My posters.
A red dress on my body.
"ya finally awake. Took ya long enough."
Her neon green hair and grey eyes came closer to me.
It couldn't be.
My voice came back like it was never gone.
"you're here!"
Once again i couldn't help but cry and hug her. I ran into her arms and hugged her tightly. I didn't want to let go.
"Okay uh what's gotten into ya sweets. ya startin to worry me."
"I can't believe it, I was just with the doctor"
Her charming laugh ringed in my ears, "Honey you're having those nightmares again aren't ya? man that party must've done somethin to ya."
My heart dropped, "what?"

"MOVE OVER BITCH, GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY"
"I TOLD YA I SWEAR I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME PLEASE"
She came in front of me like a guard so that it just looked like she was alone.
My ears bled when I heard the gun shot fire.
Slow motion.
The bullet.
Her head.
Blood.
October 5th 2014

I had not gone to a party in three years.
"you're not real..."
"Um hun what did ya drink?"
"I said...you're not real."
"please babe ya scarin me."
I stepped back but still stared right into her grey eyes.
"Candy... you're dead."