Comatose [Cow Chop]

Chapter Three

*Aleks' POV*
*Flashback*

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I screamed as I bent down to pick up my dropped phone "Fucking great, the screen is smashed."

"It's alright Babe, we'll just get you another one." Breezy said looking up from the dinner she was preparing for us.

"That doesn't help me right now does it?" I screamed at her.

"Aleks please, it's just a phone." She pleaded with me.

For some reason, that really got to me, so I reached over and grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter before chucking it at the floor. I watched with satisfaction as the screen shattered on impact and went sliding across the tile, stopping at the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen.

"Aleks!" She shrieked grabbing a dish towel and wiping her hands before going over to pick up her phone.

"It's just a phone, we'll get you another one." I snapped at her shrugging.

"Aleks you're being ridiculous." She spat as she picked it up. I watched as she tried to swipe the screen to see if it still worked and saw her flinch and look at her finger. "Ouch. Great Aleks, now my finger is bleeding."

"You'll get over it, it's just a little cut." I spat shaking my head, "You'll live princess."

Breezy turned around and looked at me with a glare, "Aleks, what is your problem?" She demanded.

"My problem is that every time you and Stef get into your stupid bitch fits with each other Jordan gets on my ass about it." I stated groaning, "I'm tired of him treating me like shit because you can't get along with her."

"So you're taking it out on me?" She asked placing her hand on her hip, "Besides Aleks, you know how she is. You know I try my best to ignore her for your sake."

I ended up losing it on her after that. With everything going on between all the guys and the bullshit with Stef I was just beginning to be fed up with it all. After awhile of arguing back and forth Bree just suddenly stopped and turned, walking away from me.

"Yeah just walk away bitch." I snapped after her.

As soon as she was out of the room I regretted those words. Life has just been really stressful lately. Between work and Stef, I find myself getting upset so easily. I find myself taking it out on Breezy and that's definitely not what I ever wanted to.

She doesn't deserve this, Bree has always amazing to me. She's always been my voice of reason. Despite everything we've been dealing with, she has always been patient with me. Never was the first one to start yelling and has never said such hurtful things like I just did.

I knew I had to apologize for everything that just happened. I headed for the room, and when I got there I found Bree shoving stuff into a bag.

"What are you doing Bree?" I asked as she turned to face me, bag in hand.

"What does it look like Aleksandr?" She asked with narrowed eyes.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"I can't do this anymore Aleks." She said, turning away from me and looking at the floor.

"But Bree, you can't." I started to say.

"I have to Aleks, it's for the best." She interrupted, before walking past me heading out of the room.

I chased after her begging and pleading her not to go. Inside, I could feel my heart breaking. I kept begging her not to go, that we can fix this. I kept insisting that I loved her and she didn't need to go, that we can talk this out. That I couldn't live without her. That I was so sorry and I'd do anything to get her to stay. In the end though, she left. I watched as she climbed into that cab and drove off leaving me on the side of the road. Tears streaming down my face...

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I awoke sitting straight up with sweat just about pouring off of me. I felt as if I couldn't breathe and found myself gasping for air. I hated the dream... Having to relive that day in my sleep made it hard for me to get rest. It's one of the main reasons why I don't sleep much anymore. Everytime I sleep, there is always a chance I will relive it. It's been two long years and I think I've done it more times that I can count using all fingers and toes.

Every time it happens I'm always faced with a huge weight of regret in my chest. Regret for the way I acted. For how I treated her that day and how I just kept it going, hurting her more with each distasteful word. For not realizing what I was saying and doing before it was too late. For not trying to fight harder for her to stay. If I could take it all back I would.

It's because of all this that James and I finally decided to get away from the rest of the group. Not only because being in that office wasn't the same without her there, but it was because of things that happened there that lead to my regrets. We needed away from certain people. Plus, we wanted to be able to have more control over our content.

In the end it just wasn't fun for us anymore. It was starting to feel less and less like a group of friends and more and more like a normal 9-5 job with coworkers. It just wasn't aesthetically pleasing to either of us anymore.

Since leaving my mood has improved, of course only slightly but it's better than nothing. Don't get me wrong I'm having a lot more fun just working with James and the others, it just... She's always there in the back of my mind. She just doesn't haunt my dreams, it's the dark recesses of my mind where she haunts most of the time.

I picked up my phone off the floor beside me and looked at the time: 3am. I closed my eyes and ran my hand over my face before sighing. It's definitely way to early for me to be awake but I'm afraid to try and go back to sleep. Not that I'd even be able to at this point. I just wish I knew how she was doing.

I looked back an the ceiling and shifted slightly the air mattress groaning below me and my back protesting as well. I've spent these past two years sleeping on an air mattress in my office unable to bare sleeping in our bed. It was too painful too. Hell, it was too painful to be in any other part of our apartment at all. Mostly because everything reminded me of her. All the pictures that still hung in the living room.

Everything in the apartment was exactly the same way she left it the day she walked out. I didn't want to change anything because I never wanted to accept that she was gone. James and the others worry about me a lot, because of it. They offered to do it for me once, but I flipped the fuck out and they never brought it up again. I just wish I knew she was alright...

Two long years I've spent worrying about her. I've tried calling her Mom a few select times. However, she always tells me the same thing. That she doesn't really know anything besides she's alive. I really think she's lying though, mostly since she hasn't answered or returned any of my calls in awhile. I'd do anything just to at least know she was doing okay.

Suddenly I got a idea, picking up my phone again I started to look at flights. I always considered going and looking for her but I was to afraid. I didn't want to upset her by finding her since she obviously didn't want to be found. However, at this point I just need closure. I just need to know everything is okay, maybe then my nightmares will end.

I decided that I would fly to Pennsylvania and visit her Mom. I knew where she lived and worked so there was no way she could avoid me. Besides, I know how much her Mom likes me so I really don't see her not talking to me if I show up in the flesh. I don't expect to find her at all, but at least this way I could get her Mom to at least tell me that she was okay. That's all I want to know, that's all I need to know.

Here goes nothing I guess.

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Hello Lovelies. So, I've again gotten into the mood to write again.... It always seems like every time I do, thing within the world of all of those involved in my stories changed. I'm going to continue this story within in world that I started it in. Just like every one of my stories that I plan to hopefully finish someday.

Any-who, I hope you enjoyed a look into Aleks mind. I hope to update this again soon, so keep an eye out. And if you're still reading or you're new to the story, drop me a sign to let me know you are!

See you next update -Bree❤️